Czech Jokes

Why can it be so annoying to drive a Skoda?

The Czech engine light is always on.

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Couple's Daily Question Mug
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What do you call someone from Olomouc who's living on the dole?

A welfare Czech.

What's an eastern European cannibal's favorite snack?

Czechs Mix

What do you call an abortion in Prague?

A cancelled Czech.

This joke may have profanity.

What happens when your friend from Prague topples over?

You right a Czech.

Why are the best accountants twins from Prague?

Because they always double Czech their work!

What do you call a country that doesn't use credit cards?

A Czech Republic

What do you call it when you get stuck into a shotgun wedding with a Czech?

Checkmate!

Why do slovaks don't like Czechs?

They prefer cash.

Who's there ! Czech ! Czech who ?

Czech before you open the door !

Where did Czechslovakia split up?

At the Czech-out line.

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Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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What do you call a Slavic spouse?

Czech-mate

Why did Bobby Fischer marry a woman from Prague?

A: He was looking for a Czech mate.

What happened when the bankrupt eastern european jumped off a building?

The Czech bounced.

How did the terrorist get into Czechoslovakia?

They didn't czech his papers.

Why was the chessmaster interested in foreign women?

A: He wanted a Czech mate.

Who is the chess player's dream companion?

A *Czech Mate*

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Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

What did the fish have to pay to get past the coral reef?

Atoll.

Why don't you have to pay for the items on a will?

It's a dead giveaway...

Aborted Fetus Jokes More Aborted Fetus Jokes

Why did the woman take her third aborted fetus to see the priest on Sunday?

Half Life 3 Confirmed!

What do they call aborted fetuses in Prague?

Cancelled Czechs.

Open Jokes More Open Jokes

How do you read the Gospel According to Shrek?

Open your bible to Psalm BODY ONCE TOLD ME

Why did the ants dance on the jam jar?

A: The lid said, "Twist to open."

Right Jokes More Right Jokes

What was the bear protesting?

his right to human arms

Where was Matthew McConaughey headed in those Lincoln commercials?

Dunno but I'm sure he made all rights all rights all rights.

Checkmate Jokes More Checkmate Jokes

How did the baker put his opponent in checkmate?

with an en croissant

What do you call it when you get stuck into a shotgun wedding with a Czech?

Checkmate!

Music Jokes More Music Jokes

Why don't skeletons play music in church?

Because they got no organs.

What type of music do they play at Chinese Restaurants ?

Wok n' Roll

Cash Jokes More Cash Jokes

When should you charge a battery?

A: When you can't pay cash.

Why do receipts need to be 75 feet long?

I reach into my pocket thinking I have a wad of cash, turns out I just bought a soda earlier.

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happens when an egg laughs?

He cracks up

What happened to you ?

PATIENT:I am going to die in a minute. DOCTOR:wait I am coming with in five minutes.