Baker Jokes

Why does the baker have so many loaves?

Because they bred.

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Why did the baker have brown hands?

He was kneading a poo.

Why was the Baker a part-time drug dealer?

Because he really kneaded the dough. (please forgive me for that awful pun)

Why/How do bakers work?

They knead the dough.

What is the difference between a baker baking a cake and a gynecologist giving an exam?

A few degrees.

What did the soccer player shout to the baker who's cakes kept sticking to the tin?

LINE IT!"

How did the baker put his opponent in checkmate?

with an en croissant

What do you call a confused baker?

I dough know.

Why did the baker rob the deer park?

He kneaded the doe. (Doesn't work too well in text)

Why did the Baker rob the Banker?

Cause he knead that dough. ........ Sorry I'm drunk

Why do bakers start working so early in the morning?

Because they knead dough.

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What did the baker name her dog?

Pido.

Why did the baker only date large breasted women?

Because he kneaded them.

What do you call a baker who doesn't make bread?

I don't dough!

Why did the baker's hands smell?

Because he kneaded a poo.

Why did the baker have smelly fingers?

Because he kneaded a poo.

Why did the baker have so many customers?

He desperately kneaded the dough!

What did the dough say to the baker?

You, knead me.

Why does the baker bake?

Because he kneads the dough.

What did the baker say when he saw the beautiful woman?

I think I'm in loaf." Ba dum, tss.

Why did the baker go to work?

He kneaded the dough!

Why did the baker get smelly fingers?

Because he needed a poo.

What does a racist baker exclaim?

white flour!

What do you call a red-headed baker?

A Ginger-bread man

How do most bakers get their start in the industry?

They knead dough

What did the baker say about her co-worker who never sleeps and always smells funky?

At yeast he's a fungi.

Why did the former fitter turned baker enter the lottery?

To win dough.

How do you impress a baker when you're taking his daughter on a date?

Bring her flours

What does the baker turned counterfeiter say?

I make my own dough". My sister Katie came up with this one.

What's the best part of a baker's body?

Their buns.

What's a baker's biggest fear?

Something going a-rye while they're raisin' bread.

What do you call a baker with red hair?

A ginger bread man

How can you tell that a baker's hands are on fire?

He can't seem to *stop droppin' rolls*.

Why did the baker rob the bank?

He needed the dough.

Why do bakers work so hard?

Because they knead the dough.

What does a baker say when he/she makes a mistake?

Dough!"

Why do bakers go into business?

Because they knead the dough

What did the unused dough say to the baker?

Why don't you knead me

What does a baker wear on his feet?

Loafers.

Why was the baker happy when his pie caught fire in the oven?

He was a pieromaniac.

What did the baker say to the dough before he put it in the oven?

You are no longer kneaded."

Why did the baker bake more bread?

A: He kneaded the dough.

Why were the bakers hands brown?

Because he kneeded a poo

What did the Jamaican Priest say to the Baker's rolls?

You a cinnamon.

What do you call a redneck family of bakers?

Inbread!

What did the retires baker say to the Dough on the table?

I don't knead you anymore.

Why did the Baker keep going to the ATM?

He kneaded the dough

Who did the baker bring to work?

His doughter.

What did the baker say to the baby lamb who stole his dough?

Oh baby ewe...you got what I knead!"

Why did the baker... Why did the baker have dirty hands?

Because he kneaded a poo.... HAHAHAHA

What did the baker say after he found the dough he had lost?

That's just what I kneaded!

What happens when doughnuts join a sorority?

They have to go through the glazing. I'm sorry I'm a baker it just came to me... Pun-ishment is in order.

Why did the baker's hands stink?

Because he needed a crap.

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Tin Jokes More Tin Jokes

What is it called when you throw a tin can into a recycling bin?

A recycling TIN!

How do you get 100 Ethiopians in a phone box?

Throw a tin of beans in there ..... How do you get them back out of it? Run past with the tin opener .....

Line Jokes More Line Jokes

Whats long and black and hard to cut into?

The line at KFC

Why did the chicken cross the road half-way?

She wanted to lay it on the line.

Knead Jokes More Knead Jokes

What did the hopeless romantic baker say to the dough?

You're my life's devotion. I knead you!

Why do bakers start working so early in the morning?

Because they knead dough.

Shout Jokes More Shout Jokes

What do you call a Mexican guy shouting at someone?

An argumentative ese

What do the Dallas Cowboys and the Rev. Billie Graham have in common?

Both can make 70,000 people stand up and shout "JESUS CHRIST!"

Checkmate Jokes More Checkmate Jokes

How did the baker put his opponent in checkmate?

with an en croissant

Who's there ! Checkmate ! Checkmate who ?

Checkmate bounce if you don't have money in the bank !

French Jokes More French Jokes

What do you call a French pole vaulter?

A Leap Frog

What is the best celebration to have in a French Toilet?

A biday party!!

Loaf Jokes More Loaf Jokes

Why does the baker have so many loaves?

Because they bred.

Why did the Boeing 747 crash into an orphanage?

Because the pilot was a loaf of bread!

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between a girl in a church, and a girl in a bathtub?

The girl in the church has hope in her soul, and the girl In the bathtub has soap in her hole.

What is the difference between a feminist and a machist?

The second lacks the hypocrisy of the first.