Baker Jokes

Why does the baker have so many loaves?

Because they bred.

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Why did the baker have brown hands?

He was kneading a poo.

Why was the Baker a part-time drug dealer?

Because he really kneaded the dough. (please forgive me for that awful pun)

Why/How do bakers work?

They knead the dough.

What is the difference between a baker baking a cake and a gynecologist giving an exam?

A few degrees.

What did the soccer player shout to the baker who's cakes kept sticking to the tin?

LINE IT!"

How did the baker put his opponent in checkmate?

with an en croissant

What do you call a confused baker?

I dough know.

Why did the baker rob the deer park?

He kneaded the doe. (Doesn't work too well in text)

Why did the Baker rob the Banker?

Cause he knead that dough. ........ Sorry I'm drunk

Why do bakers start working so early in the morning?

Because they knead dough.

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What did the baker name her dog?

Pido.

Why did the baker only date large breasted women?

Because he kneaded them.

What do you call a baker who doesn't make bread?

I don't dough!

Why did the baker's hands smell?

Because he kneaded a poo.

Why did the baker have smelly fingers?

Because he kneaded a poo.

Why did the baker have so many customers?

He desperately kneaded the dough!

What did the dough say to the baker?

You, knead me.

Why does the baker bake?

Because he kneads the dough.

What did the baker say when he saw the beautiful woman?

I think I'm in loaf." Ba dum, tss.

Why did the baker go to work?

He kneaded the dough!

Why did the baker get smelly fingers?

Because he needed a poo.

What does a racist baker exclaim?

white flour!

What do you call a red-headed baker?

A Ginger-bread man

How do most bakers get their start in the industry?

They knead dough

What did the baker say about her co-worker who never sleeps and always smells funky?

At yeast he's a fungi.

Why did the former fitter turned baker enter the lottery?

To win dough.

How do you impress a baker when you're taking his daughter on a date?

Bring her flours

What does the baker turned counterfeiter say?

I make my own dough". My sister Katie came up with this one.

What's the best part of a baker's body?

Their buns.

What's a baker's biggest fear?

Something going a-rye while they're raisin' bread.

What do you call a baker with red hair?

A ginger bread man

How can you tell that a baker's hands are on fire?

He can't seem to *stop droppin' rolls*.

Why did the baker rob the bank?

He needed the dough.

Why do bakers work so hard?

Because they knead the dough.

What does a baker say when he/she makes a mistake?

Dough!"

Why do bakers go into business?

Because they knead the dough

What did the unused dough say to the baker?

Why don't you knead me

What does a baker wear on his feet?

Loafers.

Why was the baker happy when his pie caught fire in the oven?

He was a pieromaniac.

What did the baker say to the dough before he put it in the oven?

You are no longer kneaded."

Why did the baker bake more bread?

A: He kneaded the dough.

Why were the bakers hands brown?

Because he kneeded a poo

What did the Jamaican Priest say to the Baker's rolls?

You a cinnamon.

What do you call a redneck family of bakers?

Inbread!

What did the retires baker say to the Dough on the table?

I don't knead you anymore.

Why did the Baker keep going to the ATM?

He kneaded the dough

Who did the baker bring to work?

His doughter.

What did the baker say to the baby lamb who stole his dough?

Oh baby ewe...you got what I knead!"

Why did the baker... Why did the baker have dirty hands?

Because he kneaded a poo.... HAHAHAHA

What did the baker say after he found the dough he had lost?

That's just what I kneaded!

What happens when doughnuts join a sorority?

They have to go through the glazing. I'm sorry I'm a baker it just came to me... Pun-ishment is in order.

Why did the baker's hands stink?

Because he needed a crap.

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They have to smell it but they can't taste it!

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What do you call a bakery staffed entirely by men?

A pastryarchy.

What did the feminist baker blame for all of her life's problems?

The Pastryarchy.

Starve Jokes More Starve Jokes

What do Ethiopians do at night?

Starve.

How do you starve a black person?

You put his welfare checks in his work boots.

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How do you turn a duck into a popular soul singer?

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A: A PearlJam

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What kind of speech did the farmer give his cornfield?

It didn't matter, they were all ears

What kind of dog lives in a particle accelerator?

A Fermilabrador Retriever.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

How awful do I look?

Him: You always look beautiful. Me: Do I need to put makeup on Him: Maybe just a... *stare* Him: No.

How many ants are needed to fill an apartment ?

Ten ants !

Tin Jokes More Tin Jokes

How do you get 100 Ethiopians in a phone box?

Throw a tin of beans in there ..... How do you get them back out of it? Run past with the tin opener .....

What do you call a tin can that's done with High School?

A graduated cylinder!

Rolls Royce Jokes More Rolls Royce Jokes

What's the difference between a $1000 used car and a Rolls-Royce?

One's a grand car and the other's a grand car

Who's there ! Aileen ! Aileen who ?

Aileen against my Rolls Royce!