Cod Jokes

What did the atheist fisherman say when asked about his catch?

There is no cod

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Why is CoD: Infinite Warfare set in space?

Because no one on earth wants to buy it.

Why should you never take a swordfish out to dinner?

Because you'll get stuck with the bill, and if you don't have money to pay the restaurant will call the cods on you. Fin.

What did the fisherman from Boston say to the magician?

Pick a cod, any cod!

What did the sick fish say when he got sick?

I've cod a cold."

Why is CoD like women?

Search and Destroy.

What did the fisherman say to the card magician?

A: Pick a cod, any cod!

What did the fisherman say to the magician?

Pick a cod, any cod!

What did the beaver say when he found out his new neighbour was a fish?

Cod dam

Knock Knock. Who's there? Cod! Cod who?

Cod red-handed !

What is the difference between a portuguese woman and a sea lion ?

One of them has shiny bodyhair and smells like cod, the other one is a mammal that lives in the sea.

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What did the fisherman say to the street magician?

Pick a cod, any cod!

What am I herring?

This scampi true! Whale I squid you not Oh cod I can't die Waterboat me You're so shellfish Fin

What do you call it when a soldier gets laid?

Tactical Insertion.* What do you call it when a COD player gets laid *Lies.*

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What fish sounds like a telephone?

Herring herring...herring herring...herring herring.

What am I herring?

This scampi true! Whale I squid you not Oh cod I can't die Waterboat me You're so shellfish Fin

Swordfish Jokes More Swordfish Jokes

Why should you never take a swordfish out to dinner?

Because you'll get stuck with the bill, and if you don't have money to pay the restaurant will call the cods on you. Fin.

Which fish dresses the best?

The Swordfish - It always looks sharp!

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

Why did cavemen drag their women by the hair?

Cause if you dragged them by the feet, they'd fill up with dirt.

Why can't women drive?

Because there aren't any roads from the bedroom to the kitchen.

Pay Jokes More Pay Jokes

What do you call it when an eclipse occurs?

When God forgets to pay the electricity bill.

What happens if you don't pay the priest who exorcises your house?

He'll re-possess it

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

Why shouldn't you buy shoes off the street?

They might be laced with something..

What do aliens use to buy their coffee?

starbucks

Smell Jokes More Smell Jokes

When is it okay to kick a midget in the balls?

When he tells you that your wife's hair smells good.

Why do women love the smell of babies so much?

Because 50% of the taste is in the smell.

Fin Jokes More Fin Jokes

What has four legs and several fins?

A: A happy bear!

Why are fish only happy inside?

They have in-door fins

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

Where's Wally?

book today but couldn't find one anywhere. Well played, Wally. Well played.

When your mom is mad at you and finds anything to throw at you https://www.youtube.com/watch?

v=75cA3xmssM