Cod Jokes

What did the atheist fisherman say when asked about his catch?

There is no cod

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Why is CoD: Infinite Warfare set in space?

Because no one on earth wants to buy it.

Why should you never take a swordfish out to dinner?

Because you'll get stuck with the bill, and if you don't have money to pay the restaurant will call the cods on you. Fin.

What did the fisherman from Boston say to the magician?

Pick a cod, any cod!

What did the sick fish say when he got sick?

I've cod a cold."

Why is CoD like women?

Search and Destroy.

What did the fisherman say to the card magician?

A: Pick a cod, any cod!

What did the fisherman say to the magician?

Pick a cod, any cod!

What did the beaver say when he found out his new neighbour was a fish?

Cod dam

Knock Knock. Who's there? Cod! Cod who?

Cod red-handed !

What is the difference between a portuguese woman and a sea lion ?

One of them has shiny bodyhair and smells like cod, the other one is a mammal that lives in the sea.

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What did the fisherman say to the street magician?

Pick a cod, any cod!

What am I herring?

This scampi true! Whale I squid you not Oh cod I can't die Waterboat me You're so shellfish Fin

What do you call it when a soldier gets laid?

Tactical Insertion.* What do you call it when a COD player gets laid *Lies.*

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How are you going to pay for that?

Oh, just put it on my bill."

What do you call it when you paid all your bills?

Feedom.

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Why won't the US change over to the Metric system?

Because we'd rather die on our feet than live on your 30.48 centimeters.

What do you call a seagull that lives by the Bay?

I don't know, but it won't shut up about the app it's developing.

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What is similar between the life of an Ethiopian kid and the hype of Call Of Duty: Infinite Warfare?

They're practically non existent.

Why is CoD: Infinite Warfare set in space?

Because no one on earth wants to buy it.

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What do you call a group of squids?

a *squad*

What does it take to make a squid laugh?

Ten tickles.

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How many portuguese people can fit on a scooter?

A Brazilian

What is the difference between a portuguese woman and a sea lion ?

One of them has shiny bodyhair and smells like cod, the other one is a mammal that lives in the sea.

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Why did the monster drink ten liters of antifreeze?

So that he didn't have to buy a winter coat.

How does Bill Gates fix a broken lightbulb?

He buys a new house.

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Why should you never take a swordfish out to dinner?

Because you'll get stuck with the bill, and if you don't have money to pay the restaurant will call the cods on you. Fin.

Which fish dresses the best?

The Swordfish - It always looks sharp!

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What fish sounds like a telephone?

Herring herring...herring herring...herring herring.

What am I herring?

This scampi true! Whale I squid you not Oh cod I can't die Waterboat me You're so shellfish Fin