Cod Jokes

What did the atheist fisherman say when asked about his catch?

There is no cod

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Why is CoD: Infinite Warfare set in space?

Because no one on earth wants to buy it.

Why should you never take a swordfish out to dinner?

Because you'll get stuck with the bill, and if you don't have money to pay the restaurant will call the cods on you. Fin.

What did the fisherman from Boston say to the magician?

Pick a cod, any cod!

What did the sick fish say when he got sick?

I've cod a cold."

Why is CoD like women?

Search and Destroy.

What did the fisherman say to the card magician?

A: Pick a cod, any cod!

What did the fisherman say to the magician?

Pick a cod, any cod!

What did the beaver say when he found out his new neighbour was a fish?

Cod dam

Knock Knock. Who's there? Cod! Cod who?

Cod red-handed !

What is the difference between a portuguese woman and a sea lion ?

One of them has shiny bodyhair and smells like cod, the other one is a mammal that lives in the sea.

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What did the fisherman say to the street magician?

Pick a cod, any cod!

What am I herring?

This scampi true! Whale I squid you not Oh cod I can't die Waterboat me You're so shellfish Fin

What do you call it when a soldier gets laid?

Tactical Insertion.* What do you call it when a COD player gets laid *Lies.*

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What did Jesus' disciples say when he caught all those fishes?

HOLY MACKAREL!

Why did the hipster never catch a fish?

Because he didn't go in the mainstream

Beaver Jokes More Beaver Jokes

What did the beaver say when he found out his new neighbour was a fish?

Cod dam

What did the beaver say to the tree?

It's been nice gnawing you.

Soldier Jokes More Soldier Jokes

What do you call a soldier with long arms?

An army soldier

Why did the soldier salute the occupied restroom?

There was a loo tenant inside.

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What did Bruce Willis find in the freezer at the morgue?

OC Icy dead people!

How are relationships like algebra?

You look at your X and try to find out Y

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Where do fortune tellers buy their clothes?

Sears.

Why shouldn't you buy Ukrainian underpants?

Cos Chernobyl fall out

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What is similar between the life of an Ethiopian kid and the hype of Call Of Duty: Infinite Warfare?

They're practically non existent.

Why is CoD: Infinite Warfare set in space?

Because no one on earth wants to buy it.

Catch Jokes More Catch Jokes

Why couldn't anyone catch the hippie?

He was way to high, man.

What did the fisher say to the fishkin?

Catch you later

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between a smart blonde and a UFO?

A: There have been sightings of UFOs.

What's the difference between E.T and illegal immigrants?

E.T actually learned English and wanted to go home.