Cod Jokes

What did the atheist fisherman say when asked about his catch?

There is no cod

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Why is CoD: Infinite Warfare set in space?

Because no one on earth wants to buy it.

Why should you never take a swordfish out to dinner?

Because you'll get stuck with the bill, and if you don't have money to pay the restaurant will call the cods on you. Fin.

What did the fisherman from Boston say to the magician?

Pick a cod, any cod!

What did the sick fish say when he got sick?

I've cod a cold."

Why is CoD like women?

Search and Destroy.

What did the fisherman say to the card magician?

A: Pick a cod, any cod!

What did the fisherman say to the magician?

Pick a cod, any cod!

What did the beaver say when he found out his new neighbour was a fish?

Cod dam

Who's there ! Cod ! Cod who ?

Cod red-handed !

What is the difference between a portuguese woman and a sea lion ?

One of them has shiny bodyhair and smells like cod, the other one is a mammal that lives in the sea.

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What did the fisherman say to the street magician?

Pick a cod, any cod!

What am I herring?

This scampi true! Whale I squid you not Oh cod I can't die Waterboat me You're so shellfish Fin

What do you call it when a soldier gets laid?

Tactical Insertion.* What do you call it when a COD player gets laid *Lies.*

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What's the currency in space?

Starbucks

What do you call a black man in space?

An astronaut.

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Where do terrorists store their money?

In the West Bank

Why don't cows ever have any money?

Because the farmers milk them dry!

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What do women and dog turds have in common?

The older they get the easier they are to pick up.

Why did the elephant paint his balls green?

Answer: to hide in avocado trees.. How did Tarzan die? Answer: Picking avocados

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What do you call a group of Beavers?

A hens nights

What did the river say when it saw the beavers?

I'll be dammed.

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What's the scariest 3 letter acronym for a soldier in Afghanistan with a 15 year old daughter at home?

IUD

Why did the Romans build straight roads ?

So their soldiers didn't go around the bend !

Lay Jokes More Lay Jokes

What do women and linoleum have in common?

If you lay them just right you can walk on them for years.

When do chickens stop laying eggs?

Henopause

Infinite Warfare Jokes More Infinite Warfare Jokes

Why is CoD: Infinite Warfare set in space?

Because no one on earth wants to buy it.

What is similar between the life of an Ethiopian kid and the hype of Call Of Duty: Infinite Warfare?

They're practically non existent.

Herre Jokes More Herre Jokes

What am I herring?

This scampi true! Whale I squid you not Oh cod I can't die Waterboat me You're so shellfish Fin

What fish sounds like a telephone?

Herring herring...herring herring...herring herring.