Cod Jokes

What did the atheist fisherman say when asked about his catch?

There is no cod

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Why is CoD: Infinite Warfare set in space?

Because no one on earth wants to buy it.

Why should you never take a swordfish out to dinner?

Because you'll get stuck with the bill, and if you don't have money to pay the restaurant will call the cods on you. Fin.

What did the fisherman from Boston say to the magician?

Pick a cod, any cod!

What did the sick fish say when he got sick?

I've cod a cold."

Why is CoD like women?

Search and Destroy.

What did the fisherman say to the card magician?

A: Pick a cod, any cod!

What did the fisherman say to the magician?

Pick a cod, any cod!

What did the beaver say when he found out his new neighbour was a fish?

Cod dam

Knock Knock. Who's there? Cod! Cod who?

Cod red-handed !

What is the difference between a portuguese woman and a sea lion ?

One of them has shiny bodyhair and smells like cod, the other one is a mammal that lives in the sea.

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What did the fisherman say to the street magician?

Pick a cod, any cod!

What am I herring?

This scampi true! Whale I squid you not Oh cod I can't die Waterboat me You're so shellfish Fin

What do you call it when a soldier gets laid?

Tactical Insertion.* What do you call it when a COD player gets laid *Lies.*

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Sea Jokes More Sea Jokes

What is white sugary has whiskers and floats on the sea ?

A catameringue !

Why did the chicken of the sea cross the road?

Because a tuna can!

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What did Mr &amp Mrs Rockmelon say to their daughter when she wanted to run off with Johnny Watermelon?

A: But you cantaloupe!

What does a girl want more than anything in the world?

Nothing. She's fine.

Space Jokes More Space Jokes

How do you calm down an astronaut?

you give him space.

What do you call a nun in space?

Dead.

Fish Jokes More Fish Jokes

What did one fish say to the other?

Keep your mouth shut and you'll never get caught.

What do you call it when someone shoots a group of fish in a barrel?

A school shooting

Fin Jokes More Fin Jokes

What am I herring?

This scampi true! Whale I squid you not Oh cod I can't die Waterboat me You're so shellfish Fin

What has four legs and several fins?

A: A happy bear!

Earth Jokes More Earth Jokes

Why did the Moon break up with Earth?

The Moon said they were slowly drifting apart.

What do you call it when alpacas with speech impediments take over Earth?

The Alpacalisp.

Lay Jokes More Lay Jokes

Why was the Easter Egg so happy?

He just got laid by some chick!

What do Iraqi men do that gets them laid on the first date?

They give their women awesome Dinar.

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

How did Steve Jobs die?

From PC

Which fish go to heaven when they die ?

Angelfish !