Drum Jokes

What happens when you play the drums incorrectly?

You get repercussions

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Why are drums a fire hazard?

Because they're flam-able. Ba-da Bum tsss.

What do you call a drum that causes problems?

A conundrum

What do a guitar and a drum have in common?

Neither of them are a clarinet!

How many drums does it take to make a good ska band?

Nobody knows.

How would you describe Al Gore playing the drums?

Algorithm.

What does a sheep, a drum, and a snake all say when falling off of a cliff?

Baa-Dum-Sss

Why would no one listen to the percussion section?

Because they couldn't drum up enough support.

Why is Def leppard the best band to listen to while driving?

Because you only need one arm to drum along..

What is the best music to air drum to while driving?

Def Leppard, because you can keep on hand on the wheel.

What's black and white and makes a lot of noise?

A panda with a set of drums.

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What does a blonde playing the drums sound like?

Dumb chick dumb chick dumb chick...

What was in those drums of chemicals Captain Malcolm Reynolds hid behind in Firefly?

For-Mal-To-Hide.

How much do drum shaped sofas cost?

5 dollars per-cushion.

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What does a blonde playing the drums sound like?

Dumb chick dumb chick dumb chick...

Why are softball games so hard to follow?

Because everyone secretly plays for the other team.

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What's Chris Brown's favourite drink?

Punch

Why don't birds have to wear camouflage?

Joke: Why don't birds have to wear camouflage? Punch: Because they are already "in the skies". Thank you, I'll see myself out.

Clarinet Jokes More Clarinet Jokes

What do a guitar and a drum have in common?

Neither of them are a clarinet!

What did the tuba say to the clarinet?

Nothing, instruments don't talk.

Describe Jokes More Describe Jokes

How would you describe yourself in 3 words or less?

Doesn't follow instructions very well.

Why do women love chocolate?

Because it's the only time 'rich' and 'dark' are used to describe the same thing.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

How do you know Jesus loves Japanese food?

Because he said he loves miso.

How do you know if someone's a vegan?

When you ask them "Are you a vegan?" and they say "Yes".

Problem Jokes More Problem Jokes

What was Bernie Sander's favorite topic in mathematics?

Radicals. He loved finding the "root" of problems...

What do you call an orange elephant?

Call it whatever. It is not like it is gonna have a problem with that.

Mouth Jokes More Mouth Jokes

Why doesn't Oedipus swear?

Because he kisses his mum with that mouth.

Whats big, pink, long and my girlfriend hates when I put it in her mouth?

Our miscarriage.

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What's the most useless thing about a knife?

The 'K'

What's the most useless thing ever?

Anne Frank's drum kit.