Gas Station Jokes

Why was a happy couple weary to kiss at the gas station?

They were scared of sparks flying.

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What do you call a family that runs a gas station?

Pump kin.

What's wrong honey?

My bad knee is acting up again. *knee robs a gas station*

Why is thanksgiving such a special holiday at the gas station?

It is a day to be tankful.

What do you call a gas station that sells crabs?

A crustacean.

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Crab Jokes More Crab Jokes

Why could the crab not find a pair of shoes in his size?

Child labor laws forced all the shoe factories to shut down.

What's the difference between lobsters and crabs?

I don't lobsters!

Thanksgive Jokes More Thanksgive Jokes

What's the best part of having Miley Cyrus over for thanksgiving dinner?

Unlimited twerky

What did the hipster say the day after thanksgiving?

I liked the leftovers before they were cool.

Shell Station Jokes More Shell Station Jokes

What did the turtle do when he ran out of gas?

He went to the Shell station.

Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.

Lock Jokes More Lock Jokes

What do accidental pregnancies and locked cars both have in common?

Both can be fixed with a coathanger.

How does Steve Irwin open a lock made of tears?

With a "Cry-key!"

Windshield Jokes More Windshield Jokes

What was the last thing that went through Paul Walker's mind before he died?

The windshield.

Why do airplanes manufactured in Spain have windshield wipers on the inside?

Because the rain in Spain falls mostly in the plain.

Handicap People Jokes More Handicap People Jokes

Why do handicapped people wear shoes?

Because if they didn't their local gas station would turn a blind eye.

What kind of laundry detergent do handicapped people use?

Downy. I apologize for this one, it's pretty mean. I really do sympathize with handicapped people.

Act Jokes More Act Jokes

How did the florist act after getting her dream job?

Got so excited she wet her plants.

What do you call an Asian who acts like he is black?

A ripe bananna

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

What has wings a long tail and wears a bow?

A birthday pheasant!

Why won't a witch wear a flat cap?

Because there's no point in it.