Gas Station Jokes

Why was a happy couple weary to kiss at the gas station?

They were scared of sparks flying.

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What do you call a family that runs a gas station?

Pump kin.

What's wrong honey?

My bad knee is acting up again. *knee robs a gas station*

Why is thanksgiving such a special holiday at the gas station?

It is a day to be tankful.

What do you call a gas station that sells crabs?

A crustacean.

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Family Jokes More Family Jokes

Why did so many people show up to see the cannibal get cremated?

His family advertised it as a barbecue.

What's the difference between a raft guide and a large pizza?

A large pizza can feed a family.

Fly Jokes More Fly Jokes

What's the difference between a School and an ISIS training ground?

I don't know man, I just fly the drone

What did one frog say to the other frog?

Time's fun when you're having flies.

Shell Station Jokes More Shell Station Jokes

What did the turtle do when he ran out of gas?

He went to the Shell station.

Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.

Act Jokes More Act Jokes

Why did the dog's friends send her home from the bar when she started to act strange?

They thought she might have been slipped a woofie.

What is a group of hooligans acting like they are Vietnamese called?

Gang, 'Nam Style.

Handicap Jokes More Handicap Jokes

What do retards wear on their heads?

Handicaps

What do you say to a handicapped dog?

Stay"

Turtle Jokes More Turtle Jokes

What did the snail say when he rode a turtle?

Wheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!! I'll see myself out.

What did the snail say when put on top of a turtle?

Weeeeeeeeeeee

Spark Jokes More Spark Jokes

Why were the welder and stoner such good friends?

They both love to spark up joints.

How cute does someone have to be for sparks to fly?

Electro

Shoe Jokes More Shoe Jokes

What do you get when you put a tomato in your mothers shoe?

A spanking

Which is the only insect that needs to wear shoes?

Mosqui-toes.