Gas Station Jokes

Why was a happy couple weary to kiss at the gas station?

They were scared of sparks flying.

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What do you call a family that runs a gas station?

Pump kin.

What's wrong honey?

My bad knee is acting up again. *knee robs a gas station*

Why is thanksgiving such a special holiday at the gas station?

It is a day to be tankful.

What do you call a gas station that sells crabs?

A crustacean.

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Sell Jokes More Sell Jokes

What did Lil' Jon do when Home Depot employee tried to sell him a lightbulb?

Turned down 4 watt

What do you call a gas station that sells crabs?

A crustacean.

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

What's the difference between my ex and my toaster?

It only takes 120 volts to turn on my toaster.

How do you get a guitar player to turn down his amp?

Give him sheet music.

Shell Station Jokes More Shell Station Jokes

Why did the turtle cross the road?

To get to the shell station.

What did the turtle do when he ran out of gas?

He went to the Shell station.

Ukrainian Jokes More Ukrainian Jokes

Why do Ukrainians not like being late?

They don't wanna be rushin

What did the Ukrainian Scientist receive after discovering the dangers of radiation?

A Chernobel Prize.

Handicap People Jokes More Handicap People Jokes

Why do handicapped people wear shoes?

Because if they didn't their local gas station would turn a blind eye.

What kind of laundry detergent do handicapped people use?

Downy. I apologize for this one, it's pretty mean. I really do sympathize with handicapped people.

Kiss Jokes More Kiss Jokes

What's it called when a vampire kisses you goodnight?

Necking.

Why does Oedipus hate profanity?

He kisses his mother with that mouth.

Shoe Jokes More Shoe Jokes

How did Adolf tie his shoes?

With two knotzies.

Is there a hole in your shoe?

No… Then how’d you get your foot in it?

Turtle Jokes More Turtle Jokes

What did the Alligator say to the turtle?

Can I bayou a drink?

Where do you find a turtle with no legs?

right where you left it.