Highway Jokes

Why is there only a stairway to heaven but a highway to hell?

Easy. More traffic is going to hell.

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What are the similarities between a donkey and a Sikh?

They both look incredibly cute when they are little. They both grow up and go into the transportation business. Note: sikhs - or sardarji as they are commonly known in india - are the largest ethnic group in the truck driver profession. Punjabi food is available on highways across the country.

What did the guy on LSD say while driving on the highway?

Woah, the traffic is moving.

What do you get when you cross a highway with an armadillo?

About halfway across.

Why did the giraffe cross the highway?

Because he bumped his head on the low-way! I guess we're doing 4 year old's jokes today :)

Why did the guy get aroused by the highway?

Because there were lots of turn ons.

What is the fastest way to exit a car on the highway?

Through the windshield

Why did Nixon never drive on the highway?

Because he always took the low road.

How fast are black people allowed to go on the highway?

25 to Life.

What noise does a cat make going down the highway ?

Miaooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooow !

What do you call a state named after highways?

Road Island.

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Heaven Jokes More Heaven Jokes

How did the Chinese atheist get to heaven?

Jesus said to him "Behold! I am risen!" and he said "That's nice I don't bereave you."

Which part of the body goes to heaven first?

A Kid replied: The legs... Because everynight I see my mum's legs up high and screaming "OH GOD! I'M COMING!! XD

Note Jokes More Note Jokes

What did the music thief do in college?

Take notes.

Why are notes natural leaders?

Because while a note makes a sound, the rest is silent.

Grow Jokes More Grow Jokes

How to stop a kid from growing up. How do you stop your kids from growing up?

Ask Jozsef Barsi.

What do you call weed grown in a ceramic container?

Pothead plants.

Today Jokes More Today Jokes

How many beers is that for you today, dear?

Me: Like 4 maybe. 5 tops. Wife: I counted 19. Me: Well I rounded down.

Where are the raisins today?

A student used to give his teacher some raisins everyday. He kept giving them for 3 months straight. Then one day he did not give raisins to his teacher. And his teacher asked him "Where are the raisins today?", and the boy said "My rabbit died."