Hippy Jokes

Why didn't the lifeguard save the hippy from drowning?

He was too far out maaaaan.

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How can you tell if a hippy came to your house?

He's still there.

What did the hippy say when he was told to get off the couch and get a job?

Namaste (pronounced:nah I'ma stay)

What did the hippy who has been crashing on your couch for the last 2 weeks say when you asked him to leave?

Am I supposed to say the answer or let y'all guess for a bit !

What does the hippy say when you try to kick them off your couch?

Namaste.

What did the hippy say when I told him to get off my couch?

Namaste

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How many Canadians does it take to change a light bulb?

Just two. One to politely ask and the other to politely help.

How many A.D.D. kids does it take to change a light bulb?

Look a squirrel!

Hippie Jokes More Hippie Jokes

What did the hippie say when asked to leave the party?

Namaste.

What did the hippie say when his girlfriend told him to move out?

Nah, I'm a stay. (namaste)

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a bIack guy and a bike?

A bike doesn't start singing when you put chains on it.

What's the difference between Mick Jagger, and a Scottish farmer?

Mick Jagger says 'Hey, you, get off of my cloud' The Scottish farmer says 'Hey, MacLeod, get off of my ewe'

Trampoline Jokes More Trampoline Jokes

What is the difference between a trampoline and a baby?

A trampoline doesn't look adorable in a sailor outfit

How did LaKeisha's Mom finally stop her from bouncing on the trampoline in the rec room?

She put a piece of velcro on the ceiling.

Lay Jokes More Lay Jokes

What did one brick say to the other?

Guess who's gettin' laid tomorrow!

How do Ghosts lay foundations?

With a spirit level!

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What do you call a group of armed nuns enforcing the status quo?

a force of habit

What do you call a group of Mexican racists?

The Que Que Que!

Lifeguard Jokes More Lifeguard Jokes

What did the lifeguard say to the hippie?

You're too far out, man.

What does a lifeguard and a manager of a Curves have in common?

They both watch whales.

Save Jokes More Save Jokes

Whoa. There are books on TAPE?

Now I can stop reading while I drive. This is gonna save so many lives.

Who was saved?

The Russian people