Lap Jokes

How do you exorcise a demon?

Make him run a lap then do 10 push-ups and sit-ups

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How many countries' flags make an appearance at every auto race in the world?

Two. Libya's to start the race, and France's to signal there's one lap to go.

What did the sea-world trainer's friend say to him after he spilled water on his friends lap?

You did that on porpoise

What's the difference between the Olympic long distance race and the Paralympic long distance race?

A lap

What is the difference between a creep and a kid?

I wouldn't let a creep sit on my lap.

Why do athletes prefer nuns to time their laps?

Because when a nun times anything it's zero. (0*n=0) :D

What kind of computers do chihuahuas like best?

Lap-top!

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Race Jokes More Race Jokes

How did the barber win the race?

He knew a short cut.

What did the communist say at the beginning of the race?

On your Marx, get set, go!"

Exorcise Jokes More Exorcise Jokes

What happens if you don't pay the priest who exorcises your house?

He'll re-possess it

How did the possessed lady lose weight?

Diet and exorcise.

Prefer Jokes More Prefer Jokes

When lesbians get married, which one makes the sandwiches?

Neither! Everyone knows they prefer hot pockets

What is the most popular hacking tool preferred by hackers in Bangladesh?

machetes

Sit Jokes More Sit Jokes

What is the difference between a blonde and a hen?

The blonde doesn't sit still when she is on eggs.

What do you get when you sit on a potato?

A potato wedge! (I made this up when I was 9)

Libya Jokes More Libya Jokes

How many countries' flags make an appearance at every auto race in the world?

Two. Libya's to start the race, and France's to signal there's one lap to go.

What are you doing, dad?

Filing taxes... LOLJK... I'm googling "non-extraditable countries". Pack your bags, kid! We're going to Libya!"

World Jokes More World Jokes

Why do clouds make good Kings?

Because they have rain over every country in the world.

Who is the smelliest hairiest monarch in the world?

King Pong.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

What do you do if a blonde throws a pin at you?

RUN! She's got a grenade in her mouth!

Why do we always ran out of toothpicks?

Nanny: I don't know maam. I always return it after using.

Paralympic Jokes More Paralympic Jokes

What's better than a gold medal at the Paralympics?

Working legs.

What's better than winning the Paralympic gold medal?

Not being in the Paralympics