Lap Jokes

How do you exorcise a demon?

Make him run a lap then do 10 push-ups and sit-ups

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How many countries' flags make an appearance at every auto race in the world?

Two. Libya's to start the race, and France's to signal there's one lap to go.

What did the sea-world trainer's friend say to him after he spilled water on his friends lap?

You did that on porpoise

What's the difference between the Olympic long distance race and the Paralympic long distance race?

A lap

What is the difference between a creep and a kid?

I wouldn't let a creep sit on my lap.

Why do athletes prefer nuns to time their laps?

Because when a nun times anything it's zero. (0*n=0) :D

What kind of computers do chihuahuas like best?

Lap-top!

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Water Jokes More Water Jokes

What do you call a armless, legless man in water?

Bob.

Where does Russia get its water from?

De-stalinization plants

Lance Armstrong Jokes More Lance Armstrong Jokes

How many tries did it take to find out if Lance Armstrong was ticklish?

One testtickle

What brand of pen does Lance Armstrong use?

Uni-ball

France Jokes More France Jokes

Why do credit cards not work in France?

They don't understand the concept of charging.

Why do most French recipes require only one egg?

In France, one egg is *un oeuf*

Appearance Jokes More Appearance Jokes

How many countries' flags make an appearance at every auto race in the world?

Two. Libya's to start the race, and France's to signal there's one lap to go.

Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds?

Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.

Athlete Jokes More Athlete Jokes

What do you call an athlete that smells good?

D. O. Durant

What do they call a list of athletes in Jamaica?

A rasta.

Race Jokes More Race Jokes

Why were you speeding when I stopped you?

Motorist: So I could race home to get my license and registration.

Why did Russia lose the race?

Because it was Stalin! (Sorry. Communist jokes aren't funny unless every gets them.)

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What happens when Frogs die playing Call of Duty?

They respawn.

What happened to the cannibal lion?

He had to swallow his pride!

10 Jokes More 10 Jokes

What's the difference between a white girl who likes to tan and a burger?

They both need to be flipped every 10 mins, but only one turns pink when its done.

Why is the next Windows version 10?

Because 7 8 9