Mobster Jokes

Why didn't the mobsters car parts fit?

they all fell off a truck.

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Where did the mobster go to college?

Whas-a-matta U.

What did the mobster call it when he couldn't move his dead friend's body?

Rigatoni!

Why was the cake afraid of mobsters?

He knew they were going to ice him.

How did the mobster burn his lips on a tailpipe?

He tried to blow up a police car.

Why did the mobster buy a planner?

So he could organize his crime

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Lip Jokes More Lip Jokes

What does Joan Jett use when her lips are chapped?

Ch-ch-ch-ch-ch-cherry balm!

How do you know a presidential candidate is lying?

Their lips are moving.

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

What happened when the computer fell on the floor?

It slipped a disk.

Why did the tea-bag fall down the hill?

To steep.

Italian Jokes More Italian Jokes

What did the Mexican say to the Italian?

Que pasta

What do Albanian kids want to be when they grow up?

Italian

Truck Jokes More Truck Jokes

Why did Johnny drop his ice cream?

Because he got hit by a truck!

Why can't truck drivers ever fully retire?

Because they can only semi retire.

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

Why do men buy electric lawn mowers?

A. So they can find their way back to the house.

Why does no one buy food for a platypus?

They always have a big bill!

Specialize Jokes More Specialize Jokes

What do you call a repair shop that specializes in hearses?

A rehearsal.

What do you call the grounds of a university that specializes in teaching neuroscience to hippopotamuses?

Hippocampus!

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What do you get if you cross an elephant with the Internet?

I don't know but it's e-nourmous.

What did the boy with no hands get for his birthday?

I don't know he hasn't opened it yet.

Police Car Jokes More Police Car Jokes

Why did the blonde try and steal a police car?

A: She saw "911" on the back and thought it was a Porsche.

Why are they arresting that dog?

What did he do?!? (My 6yo upon seeing a police dog sitting in the back of a police car.)