Silence Jokes

What is Sean Murray's favorite song ?

The sound of silence

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What do you call a Hispanic person holding a silenced weapon?

Puerto-RECON

What do you hear if you hold a kebap to your ear?

The silence of the lambs

Why is your paper blank?

Teacher: Why is your paper blank? Student: Sometimes silence is the best answer ! :D :D

What's the difference between a gun and a wife?

You can silence a gun.

What do you tell someone who doesn't like Depeche Mode?

Enjoy the silence.

How do you silence an Italian?

Cut off his hands

What was the deaf mans favorite song?

The Sound of Silence.

Why are women and children evacuated first in a disaster?

So we can think about a solution in silence

How do you silence a group of women?

Bring out your camera.

What movie was made when Hannibal lecter got Paralysed?

Silence of the Limbs

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Why are women and children evacuated first in an emergency?

So the men can think of a solution in silence.

What's your favourite onomatopoeic word?

Mine's "silence".

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dijon-vu mustard... (Sorry)

What happened to Ed's girlfriend?

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What's red, 6 inches long and makes my gf cry when i feed it to her?

Her miscarriage.

Why does Jared love 6-inch subs?

He doesn't, he likes 14-year old girls

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Why are women and children evacuated first in a disaster?

So we can think about a solution in silence

What did the hurricane say to Hillary?

I didn't know disasters can run for office

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Why don't you put an advert in the paper?

Zoo Keeper:"Don't be silly he can't read!"

Why didn't the piece of paper move out of the way when a car came speeding towards it?

Because it was stationary.

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What did the number zero say to the number 8?

I like your belt

What do you call a dog that likes Mexican food?

A Qdoberman!!!!!!!!!!

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Who has more money than God?

His Ex-Wife.

What's denser than a black hole?

Your ex.

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How do you estimate your kids lifespan?

Hand them a mechanical pencil with the lead out and see how the use it. Child A: look mom I'm a doctor! - expect them to live to 80+ years. Child B: look mom I'm a heroin user! - expect them to live to about 27.

What do you call a God unfit for the times at hand?

O Cristor Redundant

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What did the Hispanic firefighter name his kids?

Jose and Hose-B

What do you call an Hispanic gentleman who drives a hybrid car?

A green bean.