Tectonic Plate Jokes

What did the tectonic plate say when it bumped into another?

Sorry, my fault.

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Why do tectonic plates wear diapers?

Because they're in continents.

What is the best kind of plate for a continental breakfast?

a tectonic plate!

What did one tectonic plate say to the other after the earthquake?

That was your fault!!!

How do tectonic plates have fun?

They meet up and crack each other up.

What does one tectonics plate say to another after an earthquake?

It's not your fault.

What is it called when two tectonic plates have a romantic relationship?

Subduction!

What did one tectonic plate say to the other tectonic plate?

Bro, do you even shift?"

What did the tectonic plate say when it had a collision?

It's not my fault.

What did the tectonic plate say to the other tectonic plate when he bumped into the him?

Sorry, my fault.

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How do diapers work?

Hnng. Aaaaaaaah. Like that. I'll show myself the door.

Why did the baby squirrel wear a diaper?

To hide his nuts!!

Plate Jokes More Plate Jokes

What did the plate say to the mug?

Food's on me tonight.

What happens to a plate made out of cookies when you drop it?

It chips.

Bump Jokes More Bump Jokes

What did Hillary say when she bumped into Donald after the election?

Pardon me"

What happens when two oxen bump into each other?

You have an oxident.

Bro Jokes More Bro Jokes

What did one tectonic plate say to the other tectonic plate?

Bro, do you even shift?"

Why couldn't Diablo get his bros out of jail?

He couldn't pay for Baal

Wear Jokes More Wear Jokes

Why did the black man wear a tuxedo to his Vasectomy?

If he was going to be impotent he wanted to look impotent.

Why does Mom wear makeup?

Me: To look pretty. 5: But she's already pretty. Me: Aww. 5: Dad, you should wear makeup.

Crack Jokes More Crack Jokes

What do an alcoholic and a necrophile have in common?

They both like to crack open a cold one.

How are an alcoholic and necrophiliac similar?

Both enjoy cracking open a cold one.

Fault Jokes More Fault Jokes

Whose fault is it?

His fault. He shouldn't be driving in the kitchen.

How does a woman apologize to a man?

I'm sorry, but it's your fault.

Continent Jokes More Continent Jokes

Why do tectonic plates wear diapers?

Because they're in continents.

Why do Marlboro cigarettes have white filters in America, but yellow filters in Europe?

So Keith Richards can tell which continent he's in.