Bump Jokes

What does a barcode say if he bumps into another barcode?

SKU me

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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Why did the bus driver drop his coffee?

Because he hit a bump in the road. What was the bump in the road? Little Timmy.

What did the grocery clerk say when he bumped his head when he was in the freezer?

Nothing, he was knocked out .

What did the tectonic plate say when it bumped into another?

Sorry, my fault.

Why did the giraffe cross the highway?

Because he bumped his head on the low-way! I guess we're doing 4 year old's jokes today :)

What did the fish say when it bumped its head?

Dam.

What sounds like a robot and bumps into tables?

Stephen Hawking.

What happens when two oxen bump into each other?

You have an oxident.

Why do they call them "country bumpkins"?

Because in the country, you bump your kin!

What did the dolphin say to the whale when he bumped into him?

A: I didn't do it on porpoise.

What's the difference between falling 2 ft and 200 ft?

200 ft: Aaaaaaaaa, bump 2 ft: Bump, aaaaaaaaa (Yes, it's an old, really old joke. Surprisingly haven't seen it here, yet.)

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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Why did the dog have a gleam in his eye?

Someone bumped his elbow while he was brushing his teeth.

What was the Italian hot tub that was so small it's occupants always bumped into each other called?

Ja-scusi.

What did the turkey say when he accidentally bumped into the president?

Pardon me.

What did the tectonic plate say to the other tectonic plate when he bumped into the him?

Sorry, my fault.

Why was the school principal not pleased when he bumped into an old friend ?

They were both driving their cars at the time !

Why does Hillary keep bumping into people at the White House?

So she can be pardoned.

What did Hillary say when she bumped into Donald after the election?

Pardon me"

What did the man say when he accidentally bumped into the astronaut?

I Apollo-gize"

How do Polish dogs get bumps on their heads?

Chasing parked cars.

How did the explorer react when the which doctor turned him into a miniature ballsack?

He was a little testie! Bump dump pshhh!

This joke may have profanity.

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Customer Jokes More Customer Jokes

What did the German baker say to greet his customers?

Gluten tag!

Why did the banker resign?

His customers lost interest in him.

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

Why was the egg laughing when it fell off the table?

Because it cracked itself up.

Why shouldn't you have a conversation under a tree in the fall?

There may be leavesdropping

Road Jokes More Road Jokes

Why did the chicken of the sea cross the road?

Because a tuna can!

Why did the cat cross the road?

Because curiousity was on the other side

Translate Jokes More Translate Jokes

What do you call a slow transgender?

Translate.

What does "Maginot Line" get translated to in English?

Speed bump ahead

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a skin doctor?

A: A pachydermatologist.

What do you get when you cross reddit and a weekend?

No new messages.

Barcode Jokes More Barcode Jokes

What does a barcode say if he bumps into another barcode?

SKU me

Why does Norway have barcodes on their battleships?

So when they get back to port, they can Scandinavian.

Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

What is the difference between a baby and a alarm clock?

You only have to hit the alarm clock once to make it be quiet...

What's going on in this movie?

Him: Lin, I just hit play 90 seconds ago. Me: Wow! New record.

Bus Driver Jokes More Bus Driver Jokes

What does a dyslexic tiger and a bus driver have in common?

A bus driver can't change his stops.

What is the difference between a bus driver and a cold?

One knows the stops the other stops the nose.