Terminator Jokes

Why didn't the terminator upgrade to windows 10?

I asked him and he said, "I still love vista, baby!"

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How do you catch a terminator?

With a skynet

What's the Terminator's favourite band?

Guns 'n Roses

What do you call a Robotic Abortion Doctor?

The Terminator

This joke may have profanity.

What did the Terminator say when he was invited to a music themed fancy dress party?

I'll be Bach.

What does a black men and the Terminator have in common?

One says "Hasta la vista baby!!" and the other one says "Hasta la vista son"

What do Glenn Rhee, Jon Snow, and the Terminator have in common?

They'll be back.

What do you get when you cross Hilter, the Terminator, and Cthulhu?

Don't stick around to find out!

How does the Terminator lose weight?

By counting Kylereese.

Where does Walmart keep the Terminator toys?

Aisle B, back.

Why did Arnold show up at the rodent infested house?

Because he is an ex-Terminator.

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What did the Terminator say when he decided to take up piano?

I'll be bach.

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger do after he retired?

He became an ex-terminator!

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Performer Jokes More Performer Jokes

What happened to the performer who read poetry to terminally ill patients?

He suffered an elegiac reaction.

What did the circus owner say to the human-cannonball when the he wanted to retire?

How will I ever find another performer of your caliber? (Source: a dad on thanksgiving)

Ground Jokes More Ground Jokes

Where does biggest potato grow?

Under the ground.

How does a blind skydiver know the ground is near?

A: The leash goes slack.

Termination Jokes More Termination Jokes

Why shouldn't you have coffee while on the clock?

Because that would be "grounds" for termination!

What do you call a pink slip served inside a bag of coffee?

Grounds for termination.

Invite Jokes More Invite Jokes

Why did the mushroom get invited to the party?

Because he was a fungi

Why should you always invite mushrooms to your parties?

They're fun guys!

Upgrade Jokes More Upgrade Jokes

Why didn't the terminator upgrade to windows 10?

I asked him and he said, "I still love vista, baby!"

What did Arnold Schwarzenegger say when someone told him to upgrade to Windows 7?

I still love vista, baby

Read Jokes More Read Jokes

Why do soviet policemen travel in groups of three?

One to read, one to write, and one to keep an eye on the two intellectuals.

What did the Irishman text his Wife?

Honey I'm down at the pub having a pint with the lads. Be home in about 30 min. If I'm not back by then please read this message again."

Fire Jokes More Fire Jokes

What do you call making jokes of a chicken on fire?

Roasting a chicken.

What does its job only after its been fired?

A bullet.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What did the Native American pirate say when asked his heritage?

Arrrrrr Metis!

Why are you always tired, Dad?

my 3-year-old asked as she woke me from a nap by poking me in the eye.