Witness Jokes

Why don't Jehovah Witnesses like Halloween?

Because they don't like random people knocking on their doors

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Why are there no jehovah's witnesses in Italy?

The mafia doesn't like witnesses.

What does a War Boy from Mad Max say when he goes to court to sign an affidavit?

WITNESS ME!"

What's the proper procedure when witnessing someone having a seizure in a bathtub?

Sprint to your room, grab all the dirty clothes you can, and start saving money on laundry.

What do you call a witness to an event in the Middle East?

A Dubaistander. Yeah I thought of it myself.

What is your date of birth?

Witness: "July 15th." Lawyer: "What year " Witness: "Every year."

How many pull-ups can you do?

Me: 22. Wife: How many with witnesses Me: Almost 1.

Why does Jehovah need so many witnesses?

Sounds like a pretty shady dude to me.

What happens when you witness a shipwreck?

You let it sink in.

How many Mafia hitmen does it take to change a lightbulb ?

A: Three. One to screw it in one to watch and one to shoot the witness.

Why don't Italians like Jehovah's Wittness?

They don't like any witnesses.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

You might also enjoy:

Date Jokes More Date Jokes

What's it called when a super model wants to date an accountant?

Wishful thinking. Obviously

What is the best thing about dating a homeless girl?

You can drop her off anywhere.

Mad Max Jokes More Mad Max Jokes

What does a War Boy from Mad Max say when he goes to court to sign an affidavit?

WITNESS ME!"

What's a Warboy's from Mad Max's favourite web browser?

Chrome

Odor Jokes More Odor Jokes

What's the difference between humor and odor?

Humor is a shift of wit...

What was the German Shepard's defense at his Nuremberg trial?

I was just following odors."

Believe Jokes More Believe Jokes

What do you call someone who believes rotten eggs smell bad, but doesn't care?

An eggsy-stench-alist.

What are facts about canines we must believe?

Dogma

Knock Knock Joke Jokes More Knock Knock Joke Jokes

Why aren't there any knock-knock jokes about freedom?

Because freedom rings. Bazinga!

What are the scariest jokes in space?

Knock-Knock Jokes

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What is the difference between snowmen and snowomen?

Snowballs.

What's the difference between a singer-songwriter and a puppy?

A puppy eventually grows up and stops whining. Thanks to PuddinHead742 for this one.

Door Jokes More Door Jokes

Why couldn't the Jedi open the door?

He didn't use enough force...

What do you call a belt with a watch on it?

A waist of time *door closes on way out*

Knock Jokes More Knock Jokes

How do you drown a submarine full of blondes?

Knock on the door

Why is it called an "almond" in the tree but an "amond" when it falls to the ground?

When it falls to the ground, it knocks the 'ell out of it.