Witness Jokes

Why don't Jehovah Witnesses like Halloween?

Because they don't like random people knocking on their doors

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Why are there no jehovah's witnesses in Italy?

The mafia doesn't like witnesses.

What does a War Boy from Mad Max say when he goes to court to sign an affidavit?

WITNESS ME!"

What's the proper procedure when witnessing someone having a seizure in a bathtub?

Sprint to your room, grab all the dirty clothes you can, and start saving money on laundry.

What do you call a witness to an event in the Middle East?

A Dubaistander. Yeah I thought of it myself.

What is your date of birth?

Witness: "July 15th." Lawyer: "What year " Witness: "Every year."

How many pull-ups can you do?

Me: 22. Wife: How many with witnesses Me: Almost 1.

Why does Jehovah need so many witnesses?

Sounds like a pretty shady dude to me.

What happens when you witness a shipwreck?

You let it sink in.

How many Mafia hitmen does it take to change a lightbulb ?

A: Three. One to screw it in one to watch and one to shoot the witness.

Why don't Italians like Jehovah's Wittness?

They don't like any witnesses.

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Breed Jokes More Breed Jokes

What is the only breed of dog a boxer is afraid of?

A Doberman puncher!

What breed of dog is the most depressing...?

A melancholy.

Odor Jokes More Odor Jokes

What was the German Shepard's defense at his Nuremberg trial?

I was just following odors."

What did the judge say when the skunk walked in the court room?

Odor in the court!!!

Jehovah Witness Jokes More Jehovah Witness Jokes

What do you get when you cross a Zen Buddhist with a Jehovah's Witness?

knock knock knock... excuse me sir, but do you have a few minutes to discuss nothing

What does a tweaker and a Jehovah's Witness have in common?

Both ride bicycles and are on a mission.

Mad Max Jokes More Mad Max Jokes

What does a War Boy from Mad Max say when he goes to court to sign an affidavit?

WITNESS ME!"

What's a Warboy's from Mad Max's favourite web browser?

Chrome

Chinese Jokes More Chinese Jokes

What sound did the slot machine make when the Chinese person won the jackpot?

Cha-chink!

How many of you believe in psychokinesis?

Raise my hand. - Taken from local Chinese joint fortune cookie.

Wit Jokes More Wit Jokes

What's the difference between humor and odor?

Humor is a shift of wit...

What do you get from a cowmedian?

Cream of Wit!

Bob Marley Jokes More Bob Marley Jokes

How does Bob Marley like his doughnut?

w' jammin it

Why do we call the office printer Bob Marley?

Cause it's always Jammin'

Sign Jokes More Sign Jokes

Why was Jesus crucified instead of stoned?

So Catholics could do this makes the sign of the cross, instead of this bangs self in head with fists.

What does the sign at a nudist Buddhist beach say?

No Bhikkhunis(https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bhikkhuni) allowed.