Americans Jokes

Why can't americans play LoL?

They can't guard their towers.

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Why do americans get manuals when buying a new car?

I thought they only drive automatic

Why do americans like to visit Rome so much?

Because it reminds them of home.

What do you call americans flying to space?

The plot for Wall-E

Why are native americans the best strippers?

Because when they dance they make it rain.

Why is football the single best sport?

Because americans don't play it.

Why arent the americans playing chess?

they are missing two towers.

Why are americans bad at DotA ?

Because they cant defend their towers.

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Plead Jokes More Plead Jokes

How do you plead?

Defendant: Not quilty.

Why did the picture plead innocent at the trial?

It was framed.

Animal Jokes More Animal Jokes

What do dogs have that no other animal has ?

Puppy dogs !

What do you call an animal that doesn't matter?

Irrelephant.

Description Jokes More Description Jokes

What would you use to write down a description of the dump you just took?

A No. 2 pencil.

What's the difference between an American zoo and a Chinese zoo?

An American zoo will only have a description of the animal. The Chinese zoo has the price and recipe of the animal.

Half Jokes More Half Jokes

What's worse than biting into an apple and finding a worm in it?

Finding half a worm in it. And what's worse than that The holocaust

Why did the tractor trailer mechanic always have half an erection?

Because he was constantly nursing a semi.

Love Jokes More Love Jokes

What did the elephant say to his girlfriend?

I love you a ton!"

What's the difference between a Catholic Priest... ... and an e-cigarette-puffing GI Joe Action Figure collector?

Well, one is a toy-loving vapist...

Recipe Jokes More Recipe Jokes

What is the recipe for honeymoon salad?

Lettuce alone, without dressing. I remembered this today from a joke book I had when I was a kid. Wasn't sure if it should be here or /r/dadjokes

Why did the blonde throw tic-tacs in her spaghetti?

The recipe told her to mints her garlic.

European Jokes More European Jokes

What term is used to describe a phenomenon where a European mans ejaculates prematurely?

Pole Position

What European capital has the most ghosts?

Boodapest!

Agree Jokes More Agree Jokes

What can both Christians and Atheists agree on about Jesus?

Kanye's not him.

Why buy expensive fireworks when you can make your own with ordinary household chemicals?

I said, and the other patients in the ER agreed.