British People Jokes

How do Jamaicans pronounce bacon?

The same way British people pronounce beer can.

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What do British people call concrete?

Arsephalt

Why can't British people go to North Korea?

Nobody at the ticket counter knows what "north career" means

What's the difference between watts and ohms?

Watts are a unit of electrical energy. Ohms are where British people live.

Why don't British people pronounce their T's?

Because they're all in the Boston harbor."

What organ do only British people have?

The Eng gland.

What if weight loss supplements ads are just made by British people really transparently trying to scam you?

You'll lost 30 for only $42.82! Guaranteed.

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C Jokes More C Jokes

What do pirates have in common with photons?

They both travel at c

What do you get when you mix T and C?

Angry British people!

People Jokes More People Jokes

Why were the people in the Twin Towers disappointed on 9/11?

They ordered 2 pepperoni pizzas, but all they got were 2 large plains.

Why do people call memes "dank"?

Because they release dopameme!

Bacon Jokes More Bacon Jokes

What is long, green, and smells like bacon?

Kermit the Frog's fingers.

What's green, slimy, and smells like bacon?

Kermit The Frog's fingers.

Scam Jokes More Scam Jokes

What do you call a room full of psychics?

A scam!

What if weight loss supplements ads are just made by British people really transparently trying to scam you?

You'll lost 30 for only $42.82! Guaranteed.

Watts Jokes More Watts Jokes

What's the difference between watts and ohms?

Watts are a unit of electrical energy. Ohms are where British people live.

What did the lightbulb say to its mother?

I wuv you watts and watts.

Mean Jokes More Mean Jokes

What I say: "Does anyone need anything from the store?

What I mean: "I'm off to smoke a bowl in my car so I can deal with all of you."

What kind of tools do I need to make a cake?

Him: The fact that you're calling ingredients tools means u shouldnt be in charge of this.

Guarantee Jokes More Guarantee Jokes

How alcoholic is a drink that's guaranteed to get you drunk?

Fool proof!

Why are so many computer scientists atheists?

Because praying for a bug fix is guaranteed to fail.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why don't Episcopalians play chess?

They don't know the difference between a bishop and a queen

How do you know if a blonde has been using your computer?

How do you know if a blonde has been using your computer? When there's white-out all over the screen