Cashier Jokes

What did the duck say to the cashier after buying some red lipstick?

Just put it on my bill

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How do attractive men pay for things?

They handsome money to the cashier

What did the duck say to the cashier after she purchased some lipstick?

Just put it on my bill"

What did the cashier say after handing down a wad of currency to Dracula?

Count Dracula."

What's the difference between a Philosophy major and a cashier at KFC?

A job application.

Why didn't the cashier laugh at my joke?

It didn't make cents

What does your tattoo say?

Me: It doesn't talk. Cashier: Ya, but what does it say Me: IT DOESN'T TALK. Cashier: Ok, Ma'am.

Why did the customer slap the cashier?

Because he was checking her out.

How much for the best friend?

Manager : Sir, we've been through this, our cashiers aren't for sale.

Why didn't the cashier get the punchline?

It didn't register.

What do you say to the cashier when you're adamant about using an expired coupon?

dis counts!!

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How much is a dozen bananas?

ampnbsp And the cashier replies: &ampnbsp -Twelve bananas

How many cashiers does it take to change a light bulb?

Are you kidding They won't even change a five dollar bill."

When the cashier asks me "Is that everything?

I feel like crap inside because obviously my order didn't satisfy her.

How much does he give the cashier?

2 dollars, so he gets a quarter back.

How many cashiers does it take to change a light bulb?

Are you kidding They won't even change a five dollar bill."

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Use Jokes More Use Jokes

Why did the student do their multiplication problems on the floor?

Their teacher told them not to use tables!

What's the simplest way to make edibles?

Using an easy-bake oven.

Grocery Bag Jokes More Grocery Bag Jokes

Whats the difference between Michael Jackson and a grocery bag?

one is plastic and dangerous for your kids to play with, the other holds your groceries

Whole Foods Cashier: Do you have your grocery bags?

Me: Kidding At $6 an apple you should drive them home and make an apple pie for me.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a Porsche and a trash bag full of dead babies?

I don't have a Porsche in my garage.

What's the difference between a baby and an ounce of Coke?

Eric Clapton would never drop an ounce of Coke out of a window

Money Jokes More Money Jokes

How much money did the bronco have?

Only a buck!

How will the Duggar's stay on TV and make money?

By moving the show to a "true crime" channel and calling it "18 Victims and Counting".

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

How do you know the devil is white?

Because he owns hell, he doesn't work for hell.

How many Dallas Cowboys fans does it take to change a lightbulb?

They don't. They just talk about when it did work.

Main Ingredient Jokes More Main Ingredient Jokes

What's the main ingredient in mana potions?

Caster sugar.

What's the main ingredient in a Jedi martini?

Qui-Gon Gin

Cent Jokes More Cent Jokes

Why was the anomaly so poor?

Because it didn't make any cents!

What did Abe Lincoln say to the judge when he asked how he pleas?

I'm in a cent.

Well Jokes More Well Jokes

Whats the difference between you and an orphan?

You were adopted. Best told to siblings :D

What do you call an Eastern European cashier?

A Checkoutslovakian. (Better said than read)