Chimney Jokes

Why don't black people get presents for Christmas?

Because prisons don't have chimneys.

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What is Santas motto?

Wrap your package before you shove it down the chimney.

What do you call someone who's afraid of Santa getting stuck in their chimney?

Claus-trophobic.

Why can't there be a Santa Pig?

Pigs don't fit in chimneys.

How does Santa Claus remember which chimneys he's been down?

He keeps a log

What does Santa suffer from if he gets stuck in a chimney?

Claustrophobia!

Why does Santa go down the chimney?

Because it **soots** him. Credit: Curious: The Tourist Guide

What happens when Santa get stuck in a chimney?

He gets claustrophobic!

What do you call a letter sent up the chimney on Christmas Eve ?

Black mail !

What is the best evidence that Microsoft has a monopoly?

Santa Claus had to switch from Chimneys to Windows.

What goes up a chimney down, but won't go down a chimney up?

An umbrella!

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What is the best formula for leaving Auschwitz?

Lenght of chimney x wind speed

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What do you get if you cross Santa with a detective?

Santa Clues. Credit: Curious: The Tourist's Guide

Why does Santa go down the chimney?

Because it **soots** him. Credit: Curious: The Tourist Guide

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They keep sticking their noses into everyone else's business.

What do you call a book club that has been stuck on the same book for thousands of years?

Church.

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What's 9 inches long, purple, and I love to shove it down my girlfriend's throat?

Her miscarriage.

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Wrap your package before you shove it down the chimney.

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What's the difference between astronomy and gastronomy?

Astronomy is about things too big to wrap your head around, while gastronomy is about things small enough to wrap your head around.

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What did the big chimney say to the little chimney?

You're too young to smoke. Sorry, it's the first joke I ever learned, and I haven't ever seen it posted.

What did the big chimney say to the smaller chimney?

You're too young to be smoking!