Cough Jokes

What did the Shetland Pony say when asked if his cough had cleared up?

Yes, thanks, but I'm still a little horse."

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Why do some people cough alot?

Because they drink to much coughee.

What's the worst thing about a lung transplant?

Coughing up someone else's phlegm

What is the best remedy for cough?

A laxative.

What's the worst part about getting a lung transplant?

The first couple of times you cough, the loogeys aren't yours!

What do you call a pony with a cough?

A little hoarse!!!

What did the cat cough up when it was sick?

Meowcus

What does Cinderella say when she gets to the ball?

cough* *cough*

What's the worst part of having a lung transplant?

Knowing that the first couple of times you cough that the phlegm isn't yours.

What did the pony say after he coughed?

Excuse me, I'm a little hoarse."

Who was that coughing in the background?

Me : Oh, that was Denise. Dad: Oh, da' niece I thought it was da' nephew. Buh dum tsssssssss

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What's the worst thing about a lung transplant?

Coughing up someone else's phlegm

What's the worst part of having a lung transplant?

Knowing that the first couple of times you cough that the phlegm isn't yours.

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Where do you go to weigh a pie?

Somewhere over the rainbow weigh a pie. (sounds like way up high)

Why did Muhammad cross the road?

Because he had the right of way.

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Why are graveyards so noisy?

Because of all of the coffin.

What would George Washington do if he were alive today?

Scream and scratch at the top of his coffin.

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What's invisible and smells like cough drops?

Koala farts

What happens when business is slow at a medicine factory?

You can hear a cough drop.

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What have you got on?

I've got a hard on. But I didn't know you could smell it."

What's long, green and smells like bacon?

Kermit the Frog's finger.

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How do you know a woman is wearing tights?

Her knees swell up when she farts.

What's the sharpest thing in the word?

A fart. It goes right through your pants and doesn't leave a hole.