Cough Jokes

What did the Shetland Pony say when asked if his cough had cleared up?

Yes, thanks, but I'm still a little horse."

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Why do some people cough alot?

Because they drink to much coughee.

What's the worst thing about a lung transplant?

Coughing up someone else's phlegm

What is the best remedy for cough?

A laxative.

What's the worst part about getting a lung transplant?

The first couple of times you cough, the loogeys aren't yours!

What do you call a pony with a cough?

A little hoarse!!!

What did the cat cough up when it was sick?

Meowcus

What does Cinderella say when she gets to the ball?

cough* *cough*

What's the worst part of having a lung transplant?

Knowing that the first couple of times you cough that the phlegm isn't yours.

What did the pony say after he coughed?

Excuse me, I'm a little hoarse."

Who was that coughing in the background?

Me : Oh, that was Denise. Dad: Oh, da' niece I thought it was da' nephew. Buh dum tsssssssss

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People Jokes More People Jokes

Why are there fences around a graveyard?

Because people are dying to get in!

Why are blondes hurt by people's words?

A: Because people keep hitting them with dictionaries.

Clear Jokes More Clear Jokes

What did the hotel manager say to the elephant that couldn't pay his bill ?

Pack your trunk and clear out !"

Who are the fastest readers on earth?

9/11 victims.... They can clear 10 stories in 5 seconds.

Catch Jokes More Catch Jokes

What did the tailor tell the thieving nun when he caught her red-handed?

You better not make a habit out of this.

Why did the thieves get caught after robbing the Louvre?

Cause they didn't have the Monet to get Degas to make the van Gogh.

Coffin Jokes More Coffin Jokes

Who's there ! Coffin ! Coffin who ?

Coffin and spluttering !

Why does Dracula always travel with his coffin?

Because his life is at stake.

Koala Jokes More Koala Jokes

What do you call a koala that drives?

A koalafied driver! *badum-tis*

Why didn't the koala get a job?

He didn't have enough koalifications!

Painter Jokes More Painter Jokes

What did the painter say to the paint can?

A lot of good you are . (the joke is that the paint can is empty)

How do painters stay warm?

They add another coat.

Lung Transplant Jokes More Lung Transplant Jokes

What's the worst part of having a lung transplant?

Knowing that the first couple of times you cough that the phlegm isn't yours.

What's the worst thing about a lung transplant?

Coughing up someone else's phlegm

Source Jokes More Source Jokes

What do you get when you buy a $5 umbrella?

Wet.

How should I respond?

Source: http://qr.ae/xUchD