Cough Jokes

What did the Shetland Pony say when asked if his cough had cleared up?

Yes, thanks, but I'm still a little horse."

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Coffee Mug

Why do some people cough alot?

Because they drink to much coughee.

What's the worst thing about a lung transplant?

Coughing up someone else's phlegm

What is the best remedy for cough?

A laxative.

What's the worst part about getting a lung transplant?

The first couple of times you cough, the loogeys aren't yours!

What do you call a pony with a cough?

A little hoarse!!!

What did the cat cough up when it was sick?

Meowcus

What does Cinderella say when she gets to the ball?

cough* *cough*

What's the worst part of having a lung transplant?

Knowing that the first couple of times you cough that the phlegm isn't yours.

What did the pony say after he coughed?

Excuse me, I'm a little hoarse."

Who was that coughing in the background?

Me : Oh, that was Denise. Dad: Oh, da' niece I thought it was da' nephew. Buh dum tsssssssss

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Coffee Mug

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Arse Jokes More Arse Jokes

What's the last thing that goes through a fly's mind when it hits a car windscreen?

Its arse.

How does the blind man know when to stop wiping his arse?

I don't know, that's why I'm asking you.

Cough Syrup Jokes More Cough Syrup Jokes

What is the similarity between a cough syrup and an undertaker?

They both take away the coffin.

Why did Dracula's mother give him cough syrup?

Because Dracula was coffin. Source: A Laffy Taffy wrapper.

Undertaker Jokes More Undertaker Jokes

What do you get an undertaker for a wedding gift?

His and Hearse towels

What does one call an undertaker that's been drafted into the Military?

A Corpseman. Painfully obvious, yet a terrible play on the English language, I know. It was something I came up with a few years ago, for some unknown reason.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What did the atheist fisherman say when asked about his catch?

There is no cod

Who, you ask, turns the AC on during a polar vortex?

Sociopaths, fascist dictators, my boyfriend.

Time Jokes More Time Jokes

What time is it when a Muslim immigrant brings a clock to school in Texas?

Time to get a new principal.

How do you know when it's time to get a new dishwasher?

When the old one expects you to "do your share"

Phlegm Jokes More Phlegm Jokes

What's the worst thing about a lung transplant?

Coughing up someone else's phlegm

What's the worst part of having a lung transplant?

Knowing that the first couple of times you cough that the phlegm isn't yours.

Cinderella Jokes More Cinderella Jokes

Why was Cinderella able to surf the web?

Because he footman turned into a mouse.

What did Cinderella say when she got to the ball?

Guurrhggrgrh

Laxative Jokes More Laxative Jokes

What laxative did the constipated man ask for?

Poop-ease

Why do laxatives always say 'Works gently, overnight'?

What if I want something that works violently right now "