Democrats Jokes

Why do Democrats push for more gun control?

Because they can't stop shooting themselves in the foot.

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Why were Democrats in the lead early on?

Republicans weren't off of work yet.

Why do Democrats like to play Pokemon?

They've always enjoyed rounding up Japanese monsters.

Why can't Democrats sell pants?

They believe in a single-pair system.

Why are Democrats stupid enough to believe in climate change?

Because they were vaccinated as children.

How many Democrats does it take to change a light bulb?

It only takes one, but we weren't able to get the work done in 1 term because we inherited a really bad situation from the prior administration.

What do condoms and taxes have in common?

Republicans are against them and democrats want more for schools.

What's the biggest difference between Republicans and Democrats?

Republicans sign their checks on the front, and democrats sign on the back.

How many republicans does it take to raise your taxes?

A: None. The democrats do that.

Why are Vampires Democrats?

They want Gore in 2000.

How many Democrats does it take to destroy a light bulb?

A: None. They only know how to destroy the taxpayers.

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Believe Jokes More Believe Jokes

What is it called when 5 girls get into bed with one guy?

A "no one will ever believe me".

What did the police officer say to the midget complaining that someone picked his pocket?

I can't believe someone would stoop so low.

Check Jokes More Check Jokes

What did the Australian grandmaster say to the banker, when asked what he wanted to exchange?

Check, mate!

How did the Redditor get stuck in a loop?

I don't know, check the post above me.

Damage Jokes More Damage Jokes

Why did the seismologist not have to pay for the damage caused by the earthquake?

It wasn't his fault.

What are some easy pranks I can set up in his cubicle?

I don't want to go TOO over the top, and I definitely don't want to actually damage anything. But he has a pretty good sense of humor.

Play Jokes More Play Jokes

What do you call it when Muslim men play naked twister?

Dinner entertainment at Guantanamo Bay

What were Luke Skywalker's favourite model cars to play with as a kid?

Toyodas

Big Difference Jokes More Big Difference Jokes

What's the biggest difference between an oral and rectal thermometer?

The taste.

What are the two biggest differences between an alligator and a crocodile?

The spelling and pronunciation.

Pant Jokes More Pant Jokes

How do you tell when a girl really wants you?

When you put your hand down her pants you think you're feeding a horse.

What kind of pants does Mario wear to work?

Denim denim denim p

Vote Jokes More Vote Jokes

Why won't the holocaust survivor vote for Bernie Sanders?

He doesn't want to feel the Bern.

What is the main reason people are voting for Brexit?

When asked if they want to be economically joined with Greece, all they can say is "eeeeuuuuuuu"

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

How many blind men would it take to change a light bulb?

Why would a blind man need a light bulb?

How many dancers does it take to change a Light bulb ?

5,6,7,8.