Gear Jokes

What was Jeremy Clarkson on during Top Gear?

SPEEEED!

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What does Jeremy Clarkson and Amy Winehouse have in common?

They both used to be on top gear.

What do Whitney Houston and Jeremy Clarkson have in common?

They were both on Top Gear.

What do you call an Orangutan, a tortoise and a hamster in cars?

Top Gear,

How many gears does a French Tank have?

5. 4 reverse and 1 forward for parades.

What do you get when you minus Jeremy Clarkson from Top Gear...?

A smile !

What's the difference between a steampunk bike and a regular bike?

On a steampunk bike the gears don't do anything.

What does Jeremy Clarkson have in common with Amy Winehouse?

He can't do 'top gear' anymore!

How many gears does a French battle tank have?

Five. Four in reverse, and one in case the enemy is attacking from the rear.

Why is Joey Tribbiani a presenter on Top Gear?

It makes no sense, he's not a good driver, he and all his friends are always stuck in second gear

What do Amy Winehouse and Jeremy Clarkson have in common?

They were both on top gear.

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Why did Kim Jong-il die a week before December 25th?

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What did Pinocchio say to Rudolph when he asked him what he asked for Christmas?

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What is Whitney Houston's favorite type of coordination?

HAND EEEEEEEEEEYYYYYEEEEEEEEEE!!!!

What's the difference between Whitney Houston and Houston, TX?

Houston, TX will once again reach 98 degrees.

Reindeer Jokes More Reindeer Jokes

What do call someone who takes care of reindeer and really enjoys it?

A Jolly Rancher.

What is the difference between reindeer and caribou?

Reindeer are the ones that fly.

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What is the only thing easier to break than a Razer headset?

Your sister's hymen.

What's an emo's favourite laptop?

A "Razer Blade"

Leg Jokes More Leg Jokes

What do you call an Irish guy with no arms and no legs hanging out on your front porch?

Patio Furniture.

What do you call a ginger bread man with one leg?

A. Limp Bizkit. (limp biscuit) (Alternate: What do the British call a cookie that got wet )

Hamster Jokes More Hamster Jokes

Why'd you get me carrots and lettuce?

Wait but that means-" *Hamster at home wearing glorious diamond earrings*

How many hamsters does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just two.

Garden Jokes More Garden Jokes

How do you stop squirrels playing football in the garden?

Hide the ball it drives them nuts!

Where would men be without women?

The Garden of Eden

Sense Jokes More Sense Jokes

What do religions and gender have in common?

You hear about a new one every day and none of them make any sense.

Why did the girls fall off the swing?

Someone threw a fridge at her. It's not supposed to make sense