Ill Jokes

What do you say when your ex has broken up with you?

Ill call you tomorow

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Which Norse God consistently uses VPNs?

Ill give you a hint, he remains very low-key.

What do you call a pirate's helicopter?

An Eye-patchy helicopter! . Ill show myself out.

What would you do of you found Chicago, Ill.?

Call Baltimore, M.D.

What did the tiger say to the detective?

I'm not lion. Ill be here all week...

What do you call a sick bird who has crossed a national border without consent?

An ILL-EAGLE! 2X COMBO

Why was the russian airforce less superior than their enemies?

Cause their airplanes kept STALIN!! (Ill see myself out...)

What do you call a sick dictator?

Kim Jong-ILL . . . . . Ill show myshelf out...

Why can't you run in camp sites?

Its 'ran', because it's past tents... Ill see myself out.

How does the Easter Bunny keep his ears standing straight up?

He uses Hare Spray... (Ill see myself out)

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Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What do you call fireworks that don't work?

Fireunemployed.

What does Mrs Claus say to Santa when he's not spending enough time with her?

You're getting too wrapped up in your work!

Law Jokes More Law Jokes

What artistic dog chews a lot and follows the rules of the farm where it lives?

A Chihuahua that can draw and gnaw while obeying the law and lying on straw!

What do you call your wife and mother-in-law when they're riding in the same car?

Dual air bags.

Poetry Jokes More Poetry Jokes

What is Little Finger's favorite thing about poetry?

Shtanzas"

What happened to the performer who read poetry to terminally ill patients?

He suffered an elegiac reaction.

Myshelf Jokes More Myshelf Jokes

What does a lonely Sean Connery building IKEA products say?

I guess its jusht me, myshelf, and I tonight.

What do you call a sick dictator?

Kim Jong-ILL . . . . . Ill show myshelf out...

Baby Cow Jokes More Baby Cow Jokes

What is the first question you ask a baby cow, after its gotten over an illness?

How are you vealing?

What did the mama cow say to the baby cow?

x-post from /r/3amjokes) It's pasture bedtime!(http://www.reddit.com/r/3amjokes/comments/1y8d67/whatdidthemamacowsaytothebabycow/)

Airport Jokes More Airport Jokes

What did airport security tell the Dentist?

We need to give you a cavity search

Why didn't Mick Jagger pick Randy Moss up from the airport?

Because a Rolling Stone gathers no Moss.

Sick Bird Jokes More Sick Bird Jokes

What is the difference between unlawful and illegal?

One is against the law and the other is sick bird.

What's the difference between unlawful and illegal?

One's against the law, and the other's a sick bird.

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

What brand of pen does Lance Armstrong use?

Uni-ball

What program do Jedi use to PDF files?

Adobe Wan Kenobi