Insert Jokes

What's at the end of every movie?

Insert coin

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Couple's Daily Question Mug
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What do Monica Lewinsky and a vending machine have in common?

Both say Please insert Bill.

What did the blindman say when he walked by the fish market?

Helllllllloooooo (insert your mother's/wife's/sister's/grandmother's name here.)

Why did the int drown?

Because he couldn't float! (Insert laughter here)

What do you get if you insert human DNA into a goat?

Banned from the zoo.

What do you get if you insert human DNA into a monkey?

AIDS for humanity

What's the difference between a nuclear reactor and a woman?

Inserting a rod into the reactor turns it off.

How many perverts does it take to insert a light bulb?

Only one; However, it takes an entire emergency ward to get it back out again.

What do you get if you insert human DNA into a chimpanzee?

A. Banned from the Zoo.

What is it called when you walk away from your banana cream pie in the Sahara?

Deserting your dessert in the desert. I feel some banana jokes about to be inserted in this thread tho

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Superhero Jokes More Superhero Jokes

Why is Ironman a superhero?

and Ironwoman a command?

What's the difference between ironman and ironwoman?

One is a superhero and the other is a simple command.

Organize Jokes More Organize Jokes

How do you get thrown out of a concentration camp?

Bad for moral Cutting in line Organizing hunger strikes

What's the difference between organized crime and the government?

Only one of them is organized. Couldn't help but post this. Went to see a former mafia boss today, and that joke was told leading up to him speaking.

Movie Jokes More Movie Jokes

What movie did Leonardo DiCaprio's dog recently star in?

The Woof of Wall Street.

What famous pig actor made a movie about Frankenswine?

Boaris Karloff.

Humanity Jokes More Humanity Jokes

What do you call the border between humanity and animals?

The Mediterranean Sea

When I lose faith in humanity, I think of Chili's just handing out sick, light-up beepers, trusting us to return them. And know what?

We do.

Zoo Jokes More Zoo Jokes

Why did the Irishman buy two tickets to the zoo?

One to get in and one to get out.

Why do zoos pay for simian liability insurance?

To avoid monkey suits

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

What do astronomers do when they have nowhere else to turn?

They default in our stars

What do you call a group of ISIS members with their backs turned?

A bunch of sissies.

Ban Jokes More Ban Jokes

Why was Cinderella banned from playing sports?

Because she always ran away from the ball &ltp&gt My favorite joke since I was little

What do you get when you inject a goat with human DNA?

A ban from the petting zoo.

Vend Jokes More Vend Jokes

What does a vending machine and Monica Lewinsky have in common?

They both say "Insert Bill Here"

Why are most rappers afraid of vending machines?

Because eminem's in there (Sorry, it works better when it's spoken)