Instagram Jokes

What is a heroin addict's favorite website?

Instagram.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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How heavy is a hipster?

One thousand instagrams

How do you weigh a Hipster?

In instagrams

Why was the A.I. afraid of instagram?

post-upload skepticism

How much does a hipster weigh?

An Instagram.

Why don't Buddhists have Instagram?

They don't believe in the concept of a selfie.

Why was the Instagram star so bad at making coffee?

Because she used #nofilter

What's the best way to be on Instagram and in life?

Selfless

How do hipsters buy their drugs?

by the instagram.

How did the girl with fetal alcohol syndrome tag a picture of herself on instagram?

nophiltrum

What do you call a reliable coke dealer?

Instagram

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Why did Jesus deactivate his Instagram account?

Because he only had 12 followers.

Why is Instagram not working?

but "Why does the world need another picture of you " #instagramnotworking

Who will I share the sunset with now?

sobs* Friend: Bad breakup Me: No. *wipes tears* My Instagram isn't working.

How do you make Instagram worthy coffee?

nofilter

What would you like to Instagram?

how waiters should greet people

What did the girl say when she saw a photo on Instagram of an attractive couple at brunch?

Bae-goals

Why did the creepy hipster get arrested?

because he was following people before instagram

Where do chicken strips find love?

Chicken tinder Thank you, to Popeye's Louisiana Kitchen's official Instagram for this gem

What about Instagram?

Instagramicide IGicide Instacide Gramicide Instadead Instagone

How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.

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Tear Jokes More Tear Jokes

What costs you a fortune and leaves you in tears a year and a half later?

Not cancer, but my relationship that just ended today!

Why is fruit so expensive?

I want some raspberries, not the tears of Jesus.

World Jokes More World Jokes

Who's the world most famous blacksmith?

Will Smith

Who has the fastest brain in the world?

Steven Hawking with a brake failure!

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Who is the best Native American to have around when you have a cold?

The Hanky chief (Yes this is all my own work, I thank you) No I am not a dad

What do you call an Egyptian doctor who works on peoples backs?

A Cairopractor!

Sob Jokes More Sob Jokes

Who will I share the sunset with now?

sobs* Friend: Bad breakup Me: No. *wipes tears* My Instagram isn't working.

What is it that you are both most fearful of?

WIFE: I just...sobbing...don't want the kids to suffer ME: Eels

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between England and a cup of tea?

The teabag stays in the cup longer.

What's the difference between oooh and ahh?

3 inches

Nofilter Jokes More Nofilter Jokes

How do you make Instagram worthy coffee?

nofilter

Why was the Instagram star so bad at making coffee?

Because she used #nofilter

Good Way Jokes More Good Way Jokes

What's the best way to receive down votes on reddit?

Wohahaha! That was funny! XD

What's the best way to search a linen store?

Undercover.

Drug Jokes More Drug Jokes

How did Whitney Houston take the drugs?

All at once.

What happens when a neckbeard takes drugs?

They start tipping balls.