Instagram Jokes

What is a heroin addict's favorite website?

Instagram.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

How heavy is a hipster?

One thousand instagrams

How do you weigh a Hipster?

In instagrams

Why was the A.I. afraid of instagram?

post-upload skepticism

How much does a hipster weigh?

An Instagram.

Why don't Buddhists have Instagram?

They don't believe in the concept of a selfie.

Why was the Instagram star so bad at making coffee?

Because she used #nofilter

What's the best way to be on Instagram and in life?

Selfless

How do hipsters buy their drugs?

by the instagram.

How did the girl with fetal alcohol syndrome tag a picture of herself on instagram?

nophiltrum

What do you call a reliable coke dealer?

Instagram

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Why did Jesus deactivate his Instagram account?

Because he only had 12 followers.

Why is Instagram not working?

but "Why does the world need another picture of you " #instagramnotworking

Who will I share the sunset with now?

sobs* Friend: Bad breakup Me: No. *wipes tears* My Instagram isn't working.

How do you make Instagram worthy coffee?

nofilter

What would you like to Instagram?

how waiters should greet people

What did the girl say when she saw a photo on Instagram of an attractive couple at brunch?

Bae-goals

Why did the creepy hipster get arrested?

because he was following people before instagram

Where do chicken strips find love?

Chicken tinder Thank you, to Popeye's Louisiana Kitchen's official Instagram for this gem

What about Instagram?

Instagramicide IGicide Instacide Gramicide Instadead Instagone

How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.

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Wipe Jokes More Wipe Jokes

What's this?

Me: A napkin holder K: What's a napkin M: You wipe your hands on it when they're dirty K: You mean like the couch M: ...

What did Van Gogh's mother say to him when he was sad?

Wipe away those ears.

Sob Jokes More Sob Jokes

Why were the 5 gorgeous young blonde Danish fashion models sobbing their eyes out?

I told them I wasn't going to give birth to them.

Who will I share the sunset with now?

sobs* Friend: Bad breakup Me: No. *wipes tears* My Instagram isn't working.

Nofilter Jokes More Nofilter Jokes

How do you make Instagram worthy coffee?

nofilter

Why was the Instagram star so bad at making coffee?

Because she used #nofilter

Share Jokes More Share Jokes

Why didn't the shrimp share his food?

He was a little shellfish

Why don't u share a bed?

cried Baby Bear.

Cause Jokes More Cause Jokes

Why did the dorito feel left out?

Cause he didn't chip in!

What do you like about me?

Me: Your crippling self esteem issues have caused you to lower your standards. Her: What Me: Your eyes

World Jokes More World Jokes

What do you call it when worms take over the world?

Global Worming.

What's black, wears a bandana and ends the world?

Tupacalypse. (thanks to my buddy Mike)

Concept Jokes More Concept Jokes

Why don't Buddhists have Instagram?

They don't believe in the concept of a selfie.

What do Jedi say on May 4th?

May the force be with you just like every other day because they have no concept of our Gregorian calendar.

Buddhist Jokes More Buddhist Jokes

Why can't Buddhists vacuum under the couch?

Because they have no attachments.

How many buddhists does it take to change a light bulb?

A: Three - one to change it, one to not-change it and one to both change-and not-change it.