Instagram Jokes

What is a heroin addict's favorite website?

Instagram.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

How heavy is a hipster?

One thousand instagrams

How do you weigh a Hipster?

In instagrams

Why was the A.I. afraid of instagram?

post-upload skepticism

How much does a hipster weigh?

An Instagram.

Why don't Buddhists have Instagram?

They don't believe in the concept of a selfie.

Why was the Instagram star so bad at making coffee?

Because she used #nofilter

What's the best way to be on Instagram and in life?

Selfless

How do hipsters buy their drugs?

by the instagram.

How did the girl with fetal alcohol syndrome tag a picture of herself on instagram?

nophiltrum

What do you call a reliable coke dealer?

Instagram

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Why did Jesus deactivate his Instagram account?

Because he only had 12 followers.

Why is Instagram not working?

but "Why does the world need another picture of you " #instagramnotworking

Who will I share the sunset with now?

sobs* Friend: Bad breakup Me: No. *wipes tears* My Instagram isn't working.

How do you make Instagram worthy coffee?

nofilter

What would you like to Instagram?

how waiters should greet people

What did the girl say when she saw a photo on Instagram of an attractive couple at brunch?

Bae-goals

Why did the creepy hipster get arrested?

because he was following people before instagram

Where do chicken strips find love?

Chicken tinder Thank you, to Popeye's Louisiana Kitchen's official Instagram for this gem

What about Instagram?

Instagramicide IGicide Instacide Gramicide Instadead Instagone

How much does a hipster weigh?

An instagram.

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Hipster Jokes More Hipster Jokes

Why didn't the hipster want to see the Saint John River and the Penobscot River?

They're two Maine streams.

What do skaters, kidnappers, and hipsters all have in common?

They all have white vans

Use Jokes More Use Jokes

How many boxers does it take to change a light bulb?

One. They're used to having their lights knocked out.That joke turned dark fast. I'll see myself to my respective corner.

What kind of drugs do ducks use?

Quack.

Life Jokes More Life Jokes

Why did the Wise Man get 25 to life?

Myrrhder

What's a life without units?

Unmeasurable.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What's the similarity between communism and a pencil?

They both only really work on paper

What do you call a dad that works at a grocery store?

Baghdad

Homeless Man Jokes More Homeless Man Jokes

Why does the homeless man only drink coffee?

He had no proper tea..

What did the homeless man say to the woman who asked if he wanted 20$?

Yeah.

Concept Jokes More Concept Jokes

What do Jedi say on May 4th?

May the force be with you just like every other day because they have no concept of our Gregorian calendar.

How many Development Executives does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Well first let's talk about the concept behind this whole "light bulb" thing.

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

How do you sell a dog to someone hard of hearing?

Get really close to their ear and shout, "DO YOU WANNA BUY A DOG "

How could you be pregnant!?

I bought he GOOD dollar store condoms!!!

Wipe Jokes More Wipe Jokes

What does Magneto do when his computer gets dirty?

He wipes the hard drive.

What does German goalkeeper Manuel Neuer call it when he takes a dump and there is nothing on the toilet paper after wiping?

A clean sheet.