Shelf Jokes

What do you call a short priest reaching for his bible that's on the top shelf?

Christina Ricci.

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What did the bookshelf say when it looked in the mirror?

I can see my shelf"

Why do Little People hate the taste of alcohol?

Because they can't reach the top shelf.

What did Sean Connery say when a book fell on his head?

I have only my shelf to blame"

Why are librarians so lonely?

They're always by them shelves Just wanted to see if that library joke checked out Sorry for all the library jokes, I'll put them on hold

What ghost did Ebenezer Scrooge encounter when he refurnished his home?

The shadow of his former shelf.

What did Sean Connery say when his books fell on his head?

I blame my shelf

What did Sean Connery say when a book from his cupboard fell on him?

I can only blame my shelf. Shout out to /r/shubreddit

Where did the spoiled milk sit?

On the top shelf. Where did the chocolate milk sit In the back.

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Chocolate Milk Jokes More Chocolate Milk Jokes

What's the difference between a cow who makes regular milk and a cow who makes chocolate milk?

A mootation

What do you get when you mix chocolate milk and cocaine?

Ovalsheen. Credit goes to my cousin on this one.

Course Jokes More Course Jokes

Which horse runs the city?

The mare, of course

What's easier to unload, a truck full of bowling balls or a truck of babies?

The babies of course, you can use a pitchfork!

Librarian Jokes More Librarian Jokes

Why are librarians so lonely?

They're always by them shelves Just wanted to see if that library joke checked out Sorry for all the library jokes, I'll put them on hold

What did the librarian say to the travel agent?

Find what you're booking for

Little People Jokes More Little People Jokes

Why do Little People hate the taste of alcohol?

Because they can't reach the top shelf.

What's the tragedy with little people?

They lead such short lives.

Taste Jokes More Taste Jokes

Why do women love the smell of babies so much?

Because 50% of the taste is in the smell.

Why are blondes like corn flakes?

A: Because they're simple easy and they taste good.

Oscar Jokes More Oscar Jokes

What's the difference between Oscar the grouch and a grouch at the Oscars?

Ones green and the other is black

What is the Revenant about?

The unbearable lengths one man will go to get his revenge and win an Oscar.

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

What did the seamen say to his friend?

It was a long road, but I ended up coming out a head.

What do you get when you give a head of lettuce to an epileptic?

A seizure salad.

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What did the husband tell his wife to do after he slapped her?

The same thing he told her the first time!

How do inmates pay for things in prison?

With ConCurrency, of course.