Shelf Jokes

What do you call a short priest reaching for his bible that's on the top shelf?

Christina Ricci.

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What did the bookshelf say when it looked in the mirror?

I can see my shelf"

Why do Little People hate the taste of alcohol?

Because they can't reach the top shelf.

What did Sean Connery say when a book fell on his head?

I have only my shelf to blame"

Why are librarians so lonely?

They're always by them shelves Just wanted to see if that library joke checked out Sorry for all the library jokes, I'll put them on hold

What ghost did Ebenezer Scrooge encounter when he refurnished his home?

The shadow of his former shelf.

What did Sean Connery say when his books fell on his head?

I blame my shelf

What did Sean Connery say when a book from his cupboard fell on him?

I can only blame my shelf. Shout out to /r/shubreddit

Where did the spoiled milk sit?

On the top shelf. Where did the chocolate milk sit In the back.

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Leonardo Dicaprio Jokes More Leonardo Dicaprio Jokes

What do a common garbage can and Leonardo DiCaprio have in common?

No Oscar!

Why does Leonardo DiCaprio love his fast car?

Because he got an award for revvin' it.

Fall Jokes More Fall Jokes

Whats the difference between a baby and a 10g of cocaine?

Eric Clapton wouldnt let a bag full of cocaine fall off the window

What's the difference between a 4 year old and a bag of cocaine?

Eric Clapton would never let a bag of cocaine fall out of a window. Too soon

Shadow Jokes More Shadow Jokes

What kind of subreddit dedicates itself to darkness and shadows?

No it is not r/shadow removed

Why was the mole afraid of his own shadow?

Because he thought it was another mole, due to his poor eyesight.

Cupboard Jokes More Cupboard Jokes

Why did the old man sneak past the cupboard?

He didn't want to wake up the sleeping pills.

What do you get if you cross a bag of snakes and a cupboard of food ?

Snakes and Larders !sna

Hog Jokes More Hog Jokes

Why did the little piglet fall in love with the hog?

Because he was such a sloppy dresser.

How do you know your boyfriend loves you?

SECOND PIGLET: He signs his letters with lots of hogs and kisses.

Clam Jokes More Clam Jokes

How do clams communicate?

A shell phone!

What's the downside to dating a Mermaid?

Her clam smells like fish!

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

How do we know Princess Diana had dandruff?

They found her Head & Shoulders under the steering wheel!

How do we know Paul Walker had dandruff?

We found his Heads & Shoulders in the glove box.

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What do you call the things on the end of Winnie the Pooh's feet?

Putos (Ask your Mexican friend)

What do you call an Irishman who bounces off things?

Rick O'Shea