Shelf Jokes

What do you call a short priest reaching for his bible that's on the top shelf?

Christina Ricci.

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What did the bookshelf say when it looked in the mirror?

I can see my shelf"

Why do Little People hate the taste of alcohol?

Because they can't reach the top shelf.

What did Sean Connery say when a book fell on his head?

I have only my shelf to blame"

Why are librarians so lonely?

They're always by them shelves Just wanted to see if that library joke checked out Sorry for all the library jokes, I'll put them on hold

What ghost did Ebenezer Scrooge encounter when he refurnished his home?

The shadow of his former shelf.

What did Sean Connery say when his books fell on his head?

I blame my shelf

What did Sean Connery say when a book from his cupboard fell on him?

I can only blame my shelf. Shout out to /r/shubreddit

Where did the spoiled milk sit?

On the top shelf. Where did the chocolate milk sit In the back.

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Reach Jokes More Reach Jokes

Why couldn't the hippie reach his tie dyed T-shirt?

Because it was Far Out!

Why do the French get high so fast?

Because they'll reach 420 before anyone else. Explanation: 80 is quatre-vingt in french and quatre=4 and vingt= 20.

Sit Jokes More Sit Jokes

What sits in the corner of the room, crying and getting smaller and smaller?

A baby combing it's hair with a vegetable peeler.

Why was the blonde girl sitting on the roof?

Someone told her drinks were on the house.

Shout Jokes More Shout Jokes

Whose parrot sits on his shoulder shouting "Pieces of four"?

Short John Silver!

Who's been screwing my wife?

A voice from the back of the bar shouts back, "You don't have enough ammo, mate!"

Library Jokes More Library Jokes

What's the tallest building?

A library, because it has so many stories.

Where do you find the Bible in a library?

Fiction".

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

Why does Tom Hiddleston only invite his closest friends/family to his birthday?

He likes to keep things low key.

What do you call a policeman with a thing for MLP?

A clop cop.

Book Jokes More Book Jokes

Why couldn't Pikachu read his book?

Because he was dyslectric.

What did Charles Darwin name his book about food?

On the Origin of Feces*

Home Jokes More Home Jokes

What do you call a stay-at-home parent?

Unemployed.

What did the cholo say when the houses fell on him?

ey, get off me homes!

Spoil Milk Jokes More Spoil Milk Jokes

What do you get from pampering your cow?

Spoiled milk.

Where did the spoiled milk sit?

On the top shelf. Where did the chocolate milk sit In the back.