Shelf Jokes

What do you call a short priest reaching for his bible that's on the top shelf?

Christina Ricci.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

What did the bookshelf say when it looked in the mirror?

I can see my shelf"

Why do Little People hate the taste of alcohol?

Because they can't reach the top shelf.

What did Sean Connery say when a book fell on his head?

I have only my shelf to blame"

Why are librarians so lonely?

They're always by them shelves Just wanted to see if that library joke checked out Sorry for all the library jokes, I'll put them on hold

What ghost did Ebenezer Scrooge encounter when he refurnished his home?

The shadow of his former shelf.

What did Sean Connery say when his books fell on his head?

I blame my shelf

What did Sean Connery say when a book from his cupboard fell on him?

I can only blame my shelf. Shout out to /r/shubreddit

Where did the spoiled milk sit?

On the top shelf. Where did the chocolate milk sit In the back.

You might also enjoy:

Librarian Jokes More Librarian Jokes

How many librarians does it take to screw in a light bulb?

I don't know but I can look it up for you."

Why do you want to be a librarian?

Me: "I like telling people to be quiet."

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What did Ronda Rousey's face look like after her fight with Holly Holm?

It was all broused up!

Why do you always see beggars at protests?

They're always looking for some sort of change!

Spoil Milk Jokes More Spoil Milk Jokes

What do you get from a pampered cow?

Spoiled milk!

What do you get from an overly pampered cow?

Spoiled milk.

Hate Jokes More Hate Jokes

Why do politians hate the term "mudslinging"?

They don't want to get their hands dirty.

Why don't you play with your friends?

he asked. 'Because I only have one friend' the girl replied. 'And I hate her.'

Course Jokes More Course Jokes

What width?

She replied: "with scissors of course."

What do you call a bear that's been in the rain?

A drizzly bear, of course

Alcohol Jokes More Alcohol Jokes

What do you call alcohol in a bird bath?

Tequila mockingbird

Why when you spill red wine on a carpet do you take the stain out with white wine?

Because more alcohol is the solution to all problems.

Oscar Jokes More Oscar Jokes

Why didn't the bear from the revenant win the Oscar?

Because it would've torn Leo up to receive another Oscar loss

What did Matthew McConaughey say to DiCaprio about his chances of winning the Oscars this year?

It's a fugazi.

Leonardo Dicaprio Jokes More Leonardo Dicaprio Jokes

Why does Leonardo DiCaprio love his fast car?

Because he got an award for revvin' it.

What's the similarity between a spanish prison and Leonardo DiCaprio?

Now, both have an oscar.