Simba Jokes

What did Nala tell Simba after seeing a herd of women on Black Friday?

You gotta Mufasa"

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Why was Simba unable to save his dad in the Lion King?

He couldnt Mufasa enough.

Why did Simba buy a motorcycle?

So he could mufasa.

Why did Simba's dad die?

He couldn't Mufasa

What did Simba tell everyone in the lunch line?

Musafa

What do you say to Simba if he's walking too slow?

Mufasa.

Why did Simba have trouble returning to Pride Rock?

He ran into trafiki.

What did Simba say to his dad when he was moving too slow?

Mufasa!

Why is Simba an orphan?

A: Because his dad couldn't Mufasa 'nuff

What do you say to Simba when he's slow?

Mufasa! "move faster" heu heu heu

Why is Simba slower that his dad?

Because his papa mufasa.

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Why can't you be the king I know?

The king you have inside you SIMBA: That doesn't make sense. I think I'd remember if I ate a king.

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Eat Jokes More Eat Jokes

Why is the number eight afraid of the number seven?

Because seven ate nine.

What did the Abominable Snowman do after he had had his teeth pulled out?

He ate the dentist.

Dad Jokes More Dad Jokes

What does a 14 year-old Native American girl say when she loses her virginity?

Stop Dad, you're crushing me smokes!

How hard is it to find cigarettes?

Because my dad has been gone for 13 years looking for them.

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

What did Lochte say after his teammates told the police what really happened?

and I would have gotten away with it if it weren't for you medaling kids!"

How do you tell an astronaut where they're going?

Straight up.

Orphan Jokes More Orphan Jokes

Why do orphans like playing tennis?

Because its the only love they get.

Why was the orphan so successful?

When he was told to "go big or go home," he only had one option. (I've posted this joke here before, but I believe I've been the first, so if you recognize it as a repost it's because I wanted to tell it again!)

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

What do you do when a timeline dies?

Barry it.

Why did Simba's dad die?

He couldn't Mufasa

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

When you wife asked you to buy her car, why did you buy her a diamond instead?

Because I couldn't find a fake car."

How do you sell a chicken to someone who is hard-of-hearing?

HEY!!! DO YOU WANT TO BUY A CHICKEN!?!?!?!

Return Jokes More Return Jokes

Why did the cows keep returning to the field of marijuana?

It was the pot calling the cattle back.

Why does not a forth-grader ever take the bus home?

Because he knew his parents will make him return it.

King Jokes More King Jokes

Why did prince Oxygen inherit the throne after the king died?

Because he was the rightful heir

Why do the Lanisters have such big beds?

Because they push 2 twins together to make a king.