40 Jokes

Who are the fastest readers?

9/11 victims. They got through over 40 stories in seconds.

This joke may have profanity.

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What's the difference between a Mercedes and Princess Diana?

The Mercedes can easily reach 40.

What do you call a punch that can knock out 40 first graders?

A Sandy Hook

What has 40 teeth and holds a monster at bay?

My zipper.

How many of the commemorative state quarters have you collected?

I have 40.

What do you call an 80lb midget with 40lb testicles?

SFW) Half nuts!

How do you know when you're turning 40?

When your candy jar is filled with Tums..... My wife just came up with that one... Birthday is next week.. Ugh

What has an IQ of 42?

A: "40 Marines plus their lieutenant"

Why do women aged 40+ not play hide and seek?

cause nobody would be looking for them.

How do you start a black parade?

Roll a 40 down the street.

Why would Sally sell seashells by the seashore?

There are plenty there that are free. Just walk and you are bound to find at least 40. Idiot

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So the sharks aren't hungry anymore.

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They can both bring out the child from within.

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What's the difference between Tiger Woods and Princess Diana?

Tiger Woods had a better driver!

What was Princess Diana's favorite thing about the Xbox 360?

The dashboard.

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Why do Arabs wear thawbs?

Goats can hear a zipper from a mile away.

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My Zipper.

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What direction does a Walter White-themed GPS tell you to turn?

Goddamn right.

Why did the Canadian cross the road?

Because that's the direction his car was sliding.

40 Degree Jokes More 40 Degree Jokes

Why was the 40 degree angle so nice to the 50 degree angle?

Because its very complementary!

Whats the complement to a 40 degree angle?

My you're looking "acute" today.

Woman Jokes More Woman Jokes

What do women and parking spots have in common?

All the good ones are already taken, and the available ones are either pay or handicapped.

Where does Wonder Woman buy all her stuff?

Amazon.

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Why did I wear no jeans today?

my supply was short.

Why are there so many Mike Tysons on my news feed today...?

May the forth be with you"