Butcher Jokes

Whats the difference between a goat and a kid?

I stopped butchering goats.

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Why did the butcher get fired?

For bringing home the bacon.

Why was the Butcher depressed?

Because his life was in shambles.

How does a butcher introduce his wife to his friends?

Meet Patty"

What did Batman say when he went to the butcher?

Got Ham?

What is it that you do?

He: "I'm a butcher."

What did the butcher say when he handed his customer an empty pack of hotdogs on halloween?

Happy halloweenie

Why did the butcher die ?

Because he chopped off the wrong sausage.

What do you call it when you accidentally butcher your heifer instead of your steer?

A Ms. Steak.

Who's there ! Butcher ! Butcher who ?

Butcher your arms around me !

Who does the butcher look forward to seeing after a tough day at work?

His loving knife.

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Why do butchers avoid buying cattle from Colorado?

Because the steaks are too high.

Why do Butchers don't risk it all in life?

Because the Steaks are too high.

What did the butcher say to the cow?

I love you for your inner beauty.

Why did the butcher work extra hours at the shop?

To make ends meat.

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Because it's pointless.

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Why do cemeteries have fences?

Because people are dying to get in.

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Why did the customer slap the cashier?

Because he was checking her out.

Why did the baker have so many customers?

He desperately kneaded the dough!

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What do you call mixing hard liquor into coffee?

Getting ready for work

What kinds of vegetables did Ghandi prefer?

Peace and carrots... Thought this up at work today. I'm sure it's been done before but it made me chuckle...

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What is the safest place in the galaxy?

In the direct line of fire of a Storm Trooper.

When is it okay to spit an arab woman in the face?

When her moustache is on fire!

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What do you get if you cross a steer and a chicken?

Roost beef!

Why did the rancher stop attending poker night with his marijuana smoking steers?

The steaks were getting too damn high.

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What's the difference between chopped beef and pea soup?

Everyone can chop beef, but not everyone can pea soup!

Why did the butcher die ?

Because he chopped off the wrong sausage.