Gardener Jokes

What did the gardener say to the rose?

Hello, bud.

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What did the gardener yell when his vegetarian friend visited?

Run Berry, run!

What do you get if you cross a gardener with a banker?

A box hedge fund!

What's the difference between a gardener and a pimp?

A gardener doesn't want his hose to have kinks.

What did the philanderer say to the gardener praying in the shed?

How do you stay faithful in a room full of hoes?

What's the difference between a special needs worker and a gardener?

One of them has to water their vegetables

Why do gardeners make horrible cops?

Because they keep planting evidence.

What did the alien say to the gardener?

Take me to your weeder.

Why are gardeners the best pimps?

Because they are well versed in whorticulture

What do you call a cow who works for a gardener?

A lawn moo-er.

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Server Jokes More Server Jokes

Why won't Apple's new MacBook sell well?

because it has NO FANS!!! (get it no fans ... thank you!! don't forget to tip your server.)

What's the difference between Olive Garden and Reddit?

At Olive Garden the servers actually work.

Reddit Jokes More Reddit Jokes

What's long, hard and bendable and contains the letters p, e, n, i, s?

Your spine.

What does Reddit share in common with the real world?

A messed up system of karma

Excuse Jokes More Excuse Jokes

Which perfume do you use ?

It smells good. I want to buy one for my wife." Lady: "Please don't. Some idiot will have an excuse to talk to her."

What's your excuse?

Well my dad says the world is changing every day . So I decided to wait until it settles down!"

House Jokes More House Jokes

Why wouldn't Kurt Cobain let you charge your phone at his house?

the guy likes his power chords too much.

What happens when two lesbians build a house?

It's all tongue and groove, and no stud inside.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

Which bird ran for President?

H. Ross Parrot

Why do pigs run from medicine?

They hate getting cured.

New Jersey Jokes More New Jersey Jokes

Why is it that New Jersey got all the toxic waste dumps and California got all the lawyers?

New Jersey had first choice.

Why did New York get all the lawyers, and New Jersey all the toxic waste sites?

New Jersey picked first.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What's the worst part about working with a gamer?

They're always trying to 1-Up you.

Why doesn't democracy work in china?

Because no one wants to hold an erection.

Protect Jokes More Protect Jokes

What does stormtrooper armor protect against, exactly?

Knives

Why did Steve Irwin's sunscreen get recalled?

It didn't protect him from harmful rays Edit: Steve Irwin was the man. RIP