Gardener Jokes

What did the gardener say to the rose?

Hello, bud.

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What did the gardener yell when his vegetarian friend visited?

Run Berry, run!

What do you get if you cross a gardener with a banker?

A box hedge fund!

What's the difference between a gardener and a pimp?

A gardener doesn't want his hose to have kinks.

What did the philanderer say to the gardener praying in the shed?

How do you stay faithful in a room full of hoes?

What's the difference between a special needs worker and a gardener?

One of them has to water their vegetables

Why do gardeners make horrible cops?

Because they keep planting evidence.

What did the alien say to the gardener?

Take me to your weeder.

Why are gardeners the best pimps?

Because they are well versed in whorticulture

What do you call a cow who works for a gardener?

A lawn moo-er.

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Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What do you do when you get to the top of the world's tallest mountain?

Have a rest. (Everest, get it?) Really awful joke, but I thought of it last night and was wondering if anyone recognised it? Who knows, it might be original....

How did the dog's owner know his pet was angry about having soap flakes for breakfast?

He foamed at the mouth.

Garden Jokes More Garden Jokes

Why don't you tell secrets in a garden?

Because the corn have ears, the potatos have eyes and the beanstalk.

What do you get if you cross a worm and an elephant ?

Very big worm holes in your garden !

Rudolph Jokes More Rudolph Jokes

What did Pinocchio say to Rudolph when he asked him what he asked for Christmas?

Quit being nosey.

What did the reindeer wear to protect itself while Santa was watering the garden?

Rudolph's red hose rain gear...

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

What do blacks and bicycles have in common?

Take off the chain and both stop working. Going straight to hell :)

Why don't women work as long and as hard as men in the office?

They do it right first time.

Hoe Jokes More Hoe Jokes

What do ladies-of-the-night do when in their garden?

They hoe it.

Why did Shakespeare break up with his girlfriend?

Prose before hoes.

Yell Jokes More Yell Jokes

What does Johnny Depp yell when a tree falls in the forest?

Timbuuuuuurrrrrrrrton!

What did the Mexican carpeting salesman yell to promote his business?

Underlay! Underlay!

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

Why did the dog die?

It had Barkinsons

Why are ghosts always just moaning?

Did your manners die too Use your words!

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of car does god drive?

A Christler

What kind of wine does Bruce Lee pair with a fish dinner?

None, he just has some WATAH!