Gardener Jokes

What did the gardener say to the rose?

Hello, bud.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Coffee Mug

What did the gardener yell when his vegetarian friend visited?

Run Berry, run!

What do you get if you cross a gardener with a banker?

A box hedge fund!

What's the difference between a gardener and a pimp?

A gardener doesn't want his hose to have kinks.

What did the philanderer say to the gardener praying in the shed?

How do you stay faithful in a room full of hoes?

What's the difference between a special needs worker and a gardener?

One of them has to water their vegetables

Why do gardeners make horrible cops?

Because they keep planting evidence.

What did the alien say to the gardener?

Take me to your weeder.

Why are gardeners the best pimps?

Because they are well versed in whorticulture

What do you call a cow who works for a gardener?

A lawn moo-er.

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Santa Jokes More Santa Jokes

What do you call someone who is afraid of Santa?

Claustrophobic

Where does Santa get presents for bad kids?

Kohl's.

Rudolph Jokes More Rudolph Jokes

What was Rudolph's nickname?

Names. Because they used to laugh and call him Names. Credit to my dad.

What did the reindeer wear to protect itself while Santa was watering the garden?

Rudolph's red hose rain gear...

Pepper Jokes More Pepper Jokes

Why are peppers irritating?

Because they're jalapeno business!

What do you call Michael J. Fox and Muhammad Ali?

Salt and Pepper shakers

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What do little pigs want to be when they grow up?

Garbage collectors.

What is 61 to a blonde?

A: She wants 8 (ate) more.

House Jokes More House Jokes

How many ants does it take to rent a house?

Doesn't matter, ants can't rent a house

How do you get an Aussie to climb up on the roof?

Tell him drinks are on the house.

Hose Jokes More Hose Jokes

Why wouldn't the pimp water his lawn?

He couldn't trust his hose.

What do you call two mexican firefighters?

Hose A and Hose B.

Die Jokes More Die Jokes

What did Tupac say when his best friend died?

No Biggie.

What happened when the carrot died?

There was a huge turnip at the funeral.

Rise Jokes More Rise Jokes

Why did the bad demon burn after finding the length it took to rise diagonally from hell?

cos' sin tans

What happens when the smog rises in Los Angeles...?

UCLA.