Gardener Jokes

What did the gardener say to the rose?

Hello, bud.

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What did the gardener yell when his vegetarian friend visited?

Run Berry, run!

What do you get if you cross a gardener with a banker?

A box hedge fund!

What's the difference between a gardener and a pimp?

A gardener doesn't want his hose to have kinks.

What did the philanderer say to the gardener praying in the shed?

How do you stay faithful in a room full of hoes?

What's the difference between a special needs worker and a gardener?

One of them has to water their vegetables

Why do gardeners make horrible cops?

Because they keep planting evidence.

What did the alien say to the gardener?

Take me to your weeder.

Why are gardeners the best pimps?

Because they are well versed in whorticulture

What do you call a cow who works for a gardener?

A lawn moo-er.

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What is the difference between reindeer and caribou?

Reindeer are the ones that fly.

What game do reindeer play in their stalls?

Stable-tennis!

Wallet Jokes More Wallet Jokes

When he finishes drinking, he pulls out his wallet and say to the Bartender, "How much?

The Bartender says, "For you No charge."

Why is New Jersey called the Garden State?

Cause you're always guardin' your wallet, guardin' your car, and guardin' your house.

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

What did the duck say to the cashier after buying some red lipstick?

Just put it on my bill

Why did the devil buy so many shoes?

He wanted their soles.

Epileptic Jokes More Epileptic Jokes

What do you call an epileptic with a personality disorder?

A myclonic jerk.

How do epileptics greet people?

They shake.

Weed Jokes More Weed Jokes

What type of weed do lizards smoke?

Mariguana.

What do you call Harrison Ford when he smokes weed?

Han So-High"

Hose Jokes More Hose Jokes

Why couldn't the Mexican be a Firefighter?

Because he didn't know the difference between Jose and Hose B.

What did the Mexican fireman name his children?

Jose and Hose B

Hood Jokes More Hood Jokes

What did all the boys from the hood call the Pillsbury Dough boy after he got super baked?

Cracker.

What do you call a disabled man in the hood?

A Kripple.

Run Jokes More Run Jokes

Why did i buy a black phone?

So it would run faster!!

Which of these three does not belong: (A) a lobster, (B) a flounder, or (C) a Korean man who has just been run over by a bus?

The answer is (B) a flounder. The other two are crushedAsians.