Gardener Jokes

What did the gardener say to the rose?

Hello, bud.

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What did the gardener yell when his vegetarian friend visited?

Run Berry, run!

What do you get if you cross a gardener with a banker?

A box hedge fund!

What's the difference between a gardener and a pimp?

A gardener doesn't want his hose to have kinks.

What did the philanderer say to the gardener praying in the shed?

How do you stay faithful in a room full of hoes?

What's the difference between a special needs worker and a gardener?

One of them has to water their vegetables

Why do gardeners make horrible cops?

Because they keep planting evidence.

What did the alien say to the gardener?

Take me to your weeder.

Why are gardeners the best pimps?

Because they are well versed in whorticulture

What do you call a cow who works for a gardener?

A lawn moo-er.

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How is Harrison Ford like the Reddit admins?

Both should have said no to the latest update.

What is Reddit's favorite pirate?

Neckbeard

Wallet Jokes More Wallet Jokes

When he finishes drinking, he pulls out his wallet and say to the Bartender, "How much?

The Bartender says, "For you No charge."

Why did the poor art collector only buy miniature paintings?

He wanted more Monet in his wallet.

Kind Jokes More Kind Jokes

What kind of wine causes the most accidents?

Shartonnay

What kind of batteries does a Harvard undergrad use?

AAA

Seizure Jokes More Seizure Jokes

What do you call an epileptic giving someone a pat-down?

A search and SEIZURE

What weebles and wobbles but can't get up?

Grandpa having a seizure. Bonus: Statistically speaking, 1 in 5 adult men

Weed Jokes More Weed Jokes

What do you call someone with Down Syndrome who likes to smoke weed ?

A baked potato

What do you call weed grown in a ceramic container?

Pothead plants.

Hoe Jokes More Hoe Jokes

Why do they call me the fireman?

Cause I turn on the hoes

Why did Shakespeare break up with his girlfriend?

Prose before hoes.

Car Jokes More Car Jokes

What do you have there?

Me: struggling, crawling to his car because my backpack is weighing me down Ham.

Why'd you name me Carson, dad?

You were born in a car. Now go fetch your sister, Hospitaldaughter. It's time for tablemeal.

Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a van and a minivan?

A van picks up kids. A minivan picks up your kids

What's the difference between a piano, a tuna, and a pot of glue?

You can tuna piano, but you can't piano a tuna!