Groom Jokes

Why didn't the bride and groom exchange their wedding vows?

TLDR

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What did Mike Tyson call the groom with cold feet?

A Puthy

Why did the groom want his bride to wear white?

He wanted his new dish washer to match his fridge.

What's the difference between a horse and a 13 year old boy?

The horse knows when I'm grooming him.

Why did the bride and groom get married in a hot tub?

So that the bride wouldn't get cold feet.

Why did the groom ask his bride to wear white?

Because he wanted his dishwasher to match the fridge and stove

What do you call a racing horse that's never been groomed?

Furlong

How can you tell if a groom is Polish?

He would be the one with the clean bowling shirt.

Why did Yewtree arrest the husband-to-be at the celebrity wedding of the year?

They wanted to make sure he'd never been a groom.

What do you mean ?

Well she turned up the Minster turned up but the groom didn't !

What happened at the cannibal's wedding party?

They toasted the bride and groom.

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How do you tell which is the Groom at a Polish wedding?

A: He's the one with the CLEAN bowling shirt.

Why was Linda so mad on her wedding day?

Her soon to be husband forgot how to groom.

What products do you use for grooming?

she asked me. Her face looked quite taken aback when I said, "Facebook"

What products do I use for grooming?

She was a bit taken aback when I replied, "Facebook."

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Wedding Jokes More Wedding Jokes

What's the best moment of your life?

me: That time I won a stuffed dino- wife: That didn't involve a dinosaur me: Our wedding

What's the difference between a wedding and a funeral?

One less drunk.

Horse Jokes More Horse Jokes

Why do women love men who work with Horses?

Because those men have got Stable jobs.

Why was the Queen of Horses hated by her subjects?

Because she was too ahoof.

Turn Jokes More Turn Jokes

How do you make Helen Keller cry?

Turn the stool upside-down

How are PCs different from woman?

I know how to turn a PC on.

Forgot Jokes More Forgot Jokes

What's the integral of 1/cabin with respect to cabin?

Person 2: A log cabin! Person 1: No, a houseboat. You forgot to add the C!!

What did the dementia patient say to the other dementia patient?

I forgot.

Cold Foot Jokes More Cold Foot Jokes

What did Mike Tyson call the groom with cold feet?

A Puthy

Why didn't the penguin close on his mortgage?

He had cold feet.

Marry Jokes More Marry Jokes

How do you turn a fox into a whale?

Marry her.

Which one is married?

The one with the wedding ring YOU SICK-O!

Toast Jokes More Toast Jokes

What did Shakespeare spread on his toast?

Blue Sonnet

What do you call the outer edge of a piece of bread that has been toasted?

Crusty

New Jokes More New Jokes

What does the bride of a Russian man get on her wedding night that's long and hard?

A new last name.

What's long and hard that a Polish bride gets on her wedding night?

A new last name.