New Jokes

Where'd the dog who lost his tail go to get a new one?

A retail store.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

What does a Polish groom give his bride for their wedding that is long and hard?

A new last name.

What does a polish bride get on her wedding night that is long and hard?

a new last name

What made Bruce decide against Jacqueline for his new name?

He was afraid his nickname would be Jockie.

What's long and hard that a Polish bride gets on her wedding night?

A new last name.

What does a Polish bride get on her wedding night that's long and hard?

A new last name!

Who's there ! Courtney Pine ! Courtney Pine who ?

Courtney Pine tables I need a new one !

Which is better an old ten dollar bill or a new one?

An old ten dollar bill is better than a new one.

How many Serbs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Two-one to shoot the old bulb out and one to screw the new one in.

What does the bride of a Russian man get on her wedding night that's long and hard?

A new last name.

What do religions and gender have in common?

You hear about a new one every day and none of them make any sense.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

What's big and long that a Polish girl gets on her wedding night?

A new last name

When the boy broke his knee, where did he go to get a new one?

At the butcher shop, where they sell kid-knees.

What's the difference between an old joke and a new one?

Nothing. We're on reddit

How many country singers does it take to change a lightbulb?

One to put in the new one, and two to sing about how good the old one was.

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B Jokes More B Jokes

Why couldn't the Mexican be a Firefighter?

Because he didn't know the difference between Jose and Hose B.

Why are A's like flowers?

Because B's go after them!

Canadian Jokes More Canadian Jokes

What happened when Canada got rid of the penny?

Canadians became *penniless*

What's the difference between a New Yorker and a Canadian?

A New Yorker takes the A train; a Canadian takes the train, eh.

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

What is the only thing on earth that goes "ha ha" on a Monday?

A bit late, but.... A blonde who heard a joke on Friday.

How do you tell the difference from a guy's chromosome and a girl's chromosome?

You pull down their gene's and have a look! Credit: I heard this from an older gentlemen today at a senior home.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

Why did the army's craftsman enact a "Don't Ask, Don't Tell" Policy?

He didn't want any glaze in the military

When someone tells me they're a bodybuilder, I always ask "Not the Dr. Frankenstein kind, right?

because you can never be too careful.

Contact Jokes More Contact Jokes

How does Super Mario contact the dead?

He uses a Luigi board.

How do truckers contact each other in Wisconsin?

They use a Milwaukee-Talkie

Pick Jokes More Pick Jokes

How did Canada pick its name?

There were two Canadians and an American. They put letters in a hat and drew. They got "C-eh", "N-eh", "D-eh". The American didn't know what was going on, but he relayed the message. I know i need to work on my execution.

Why was the Bhut Jolokia picked to be the captain of the cheer squad?

Because it was the hottest pepper.

Sense Jokes More Sense Jokes

How many Germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just one. They are very efficient and don't have much of a sense of humor.

What do you call cows that don't have a sense of humor?

Feminists.

Arrive Jokes More Arrive Jokes

What do Congressional Republicans and ISIS in Afghanistan have in common?

Their first act since arriving was to go after the elderly.

What does a member of the British Royal Family say when they are reaching climax?

I"m arriving, I'm arriving."