New Jokes

Where'd the dog who lost his tail go to get a new one?

A retail store.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

What does a Polish groom give his bride for their wedding that is long and hard?

A new last name.

What does a polish bride get on her wedding night that is long and hard?

a new last name

What made Bruce decide against Jacqueline for his new name?

He was afraid his nickname would be Jockie.

What's long and hard that a Polish bride gets on her wedding night?

A new last name.

What does a Polish bride get on her wedding night that's long and hard?

A new last name!

Who's there ! Courtney Pine ! Courtney Pine who ?

Courtney Pine tables I need a new one !

Which is better an old ten dollar bill or a new one?

An old ten dollar bill is better than a new one.

How many Serbs does it take to screw in a light bulb?

A: Two-one to shoot the old bulb out and one to screw the new one in.

What does the bride of a Russian man get on her wedding night that's long and hard?

A new last name.

What do religions and gender have in common?

You hear about a new one every day and none of them make any sense.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
5.0

Coffee Mug

What's big and long that a Polish girl gets on her wedding night?

A new last name

When the boy broke his knee, where did he go to get a new one?

At the butcher shop, where they sell kid-knees.

What's the difference between an old joke and a new one?

Nothing. We're on reddit

How many country singers does it take to change a lightbulb?

One to put in the new one, and two to sing about how good the old one was.

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Pick Jokes More Pick Jokes

What was the terrorist's pick up line?

hey babe, I've got a large pipe bomb and I never pre-maturely detonate."

Why dose the navy use liquid soap?

Because it takes longer to pick up.

Organize Jokes More Organize Jokes

How do your organize a space party?

You planet! (It won't turn out well though because it has no atmosphere.)

What's the difference between the Mafia and the Government?

Only one of them is organized.

New Jersey Jokes More New Jersey Jokes

Why is New Jersey called the Garden State?

Cause you're always guardin' your wallet, guardin' your car, and guardin' your house.

Why is it that New Jersey got all the toxic waste dumps and California got all the lawyers?

New Jersey had first choice.

Buy Jokes More Buy Jokes

Why did i buy a black phone?

So it would run faster!!

How can you tell the difference between a catholic, a baptist, and a Methodist?

A baptist will run into a liquor store, buy their alcohol and run out. A Methodist will walk into a liquor store and say high to everyone, then buy their alcohol and walk out. A catholic will show up to the store completely hammered, hug everyone, get their alcohol and stumble their way out of the store.

Sense Jokes More Sense Jokes

Why is a cow that he jumps?

Because he higher and higher. (I translated the joke from Dutch, and yeah it's supposed to not make any sense, it just sounds funny, in Dutch at least. :-$)

How many Germans does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just one. They are very efficient and don't have much of a sense of humor.

Need Jokes More Need Jokes

How many survivors of nuclear war does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. People that glow in the dark don't need lights.

Why you need that?

You already have a wheelchair.

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

How can you tell if your goose is depressed?

It's feeling down.

What do you feel when you shoot a terrorist?

The Marine shrugged and replied, "Recoil."

Train Jokes More Train Jokes

What does train tracks and breast have in common?

They are both ment for boys but in the end it's the men who plays with them

How do locomotives know where they're going?

Lots of training.