Mercede Jokes

What's the difference between a Mercedes and Princess Diana?

The Mercedes can easily reach 40.

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Whats the difference between a guy who has a new Mercedes and a guy who has an old Mercedes?

The guy who has a new Mercedes is rich. The guy who has an old Mercedes has been rich for a longer time.

Why did the rich guy crash his car?

He wanted to see how the Mercedes bends

How can you tell a rich Swiss from a poor Swiss?

The poor swiss washes his Mercedes by himself

What's the difference between a bag of dead babies and a mercedes?

I don't have a mercedes in my garage!

What is the difference between a Mercedes and a Lexus?

Princess Diana wouldn't be caught dead in a Lexus...

What's the difference between a Volvo and a Mercedes?

Princess Diana wouldn't be caught dead in a Volvo

What's the difference between a porcupine and a Mercedes?

A porcupine has the pricks on the outside.

What's the common thing between Mercedes and iphone 6?

Mercedes Benz...

What did Mike Meyers say to Eddie Murphy after Eddie bought him a brand new Mercedes?

DANKE!"

What's the difference between a Mercedes and a bunch of dead babies?

I don't have a Mercedes in my garage.

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Mercedes Benz Jokes More Mercedes Benz Jokes

Why was the Mercedes Benz on sales?

Because they've removed 6 rows of yellow LED strips...

What's the common thing between Mercedes and iphone 6?

Mercedes Benz...

Long Time Jokes More Long Time Jokes

What's the longest time in which you haven't consumed alcohol?

My record is 21 years.

What's next, thought crimes?

CNN: If you stare at your hand for a long time it will look weird

Bunch Jokes More Bunch Jokes

Why is your face all scratched ?

My girlfriend said it with flowers. How romantic. Not really she hit me round the head with a bunch of thorny roses !

What's it called when you fry up an egg with a bunch of different ingredients?

Omelette you figure it out

Happen Jokes More Happen Jokes

What would've happened if Jesus Christ didn't make Christmas?

It would've just been "mas".

What happened when the witch went for a job as a TV presenter?

The producer said she had the perfect face for radio.

Lexus Jokes More Lexus Jokes

What do you call a group of Lexus cars?

A fortune!

What is the difference between a Mercedes and a Lexus?

Princess Diana wouldn't be caught dead in a Lexus...

Catch Jokes More Catch Jokes

What did the tailor tell the thieving nun when he caught her red-handed?

You better not make a habit out of this.

Why did the 25 year old cross the street?

To catch a charmander.

Bag Jokes More Bag Jokes

What's the difference between a bag of cocaine and a 4 year-old child?

Eric Clapton never would have let his bag of coke fall out of a 49th-story window!

How is the world like a bag of jellybeans?

Nobody likes the black ones.

Garage Jokes More Garage Jokes

What is the difference between sack of dead babys and ferrari ?

I don't have Ferrari in my garage.

What's the difference between a dead baby and a Porsche?

I've never been inside a Porsche. Nor do I have 12 Porsches in my garage.