Pregnant Woman Jokes

What does a lightbulb and a pregnant woman have in common?

Its easy to break the little light inside them.

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Whats the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?

You can unscrew a lightbulb.

What does a Dingo call a pregnant woman?

A Snack Pack...... I'm sorry

Why did the pregnant woman love to tell jokes?

Because she had a pun in the oven!

What do a burnt pizza and a pregnant woman have in common?

The guy didn't pull it out fast enough!

What do frozen beer, a burnt pizza, and a pregnant woman have in common?

An idiot who forgot to take it out earlier.

What's the healthiest sport a pregnant women can play?

Kick boxing

What do a burnt pizza, a frozen beer, and a pregnant woman have in common?

In all 3 cases, someone forgot to pull it out.

What is the difference between a pregnant woman and a supermodel?

Nothing if her husband knows what's good for him!

How many pregnant women does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Just one. She holds it while the world revolves around her.

Why was the pregnant woman screaming "wouldn't, shouldn't, couldn't!"?

She was having contractions.

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What's the difference between a pregnant woman and a lightbulb?

It's dangerous to hit a lightbulb with a bat.

What's the difference between OP and a Pregnant woman?

She delivers.

What is the difference between Scotland and a pregnant woman?

A pregnant woman is in Labour

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Pull Jokes More Pull Jokes

Why did the puppeteer get out of jail?

Because he "pulled a few strings"!

When a cop pulls you over and asks, "Papers?

answer "Scissors." then drive away..

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

Why do we feel like whistleblowers right now?

Because we're Snowedin.

What do you call a cat that has boils on its skin and can't feel it's toes?

A leperd

Cotton Jokes More Cotton Jokes

How can a black woman tell if she's pregnant?

When she takes out the tampon the cotton is already picked

What do you get when you combine a black guy and an octopus?

nobody knows actually but it will be perfect for picking cotton.

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What is something a woman hates about a man but a man would love about a woman?

Premature ejactulation.

What do you call a man with no arms?

Anything you want. He is 'armless

Light Bulb Jokes More Light Bulb Jokes

How many Ferguson protesters does it take to change a light bulb?

None they can't change anything.

How many survivors of nuclear war does it take to screw in a light bulb?

None. People that glow in the dark don't need lights.

High School Jokes More High School Jokes

How does Alabama keep alcohol out of high school?

Change the drinking age to 25

What did one Japanese man say to the other?

I'm not quite sure. I only took one year of Japanese in high school.

Contraction Jokes More Contraction Jokes

What was the favorite food of the thrifty Italian who loved contractions?

A pasta free.

Why was the pregnant woman screaming "wouldn't, shouldn't, couldn't!"?

She was having contractions.

Bat Jokes More Bat Jokes

What do you get when you cross a cricket with a bat?

Nothing as they cannot breed with each other

What do you say when the Batmobile drives by?

Na na na na na na na na BAT MAN What do you say when a stolen Batmobile drives by? Na na na na na na na na BLACK MAN