Me: Shower. W: ...what else M: Make a new iTunes playlist. W: Wow. M: Might not have time for a shower.
Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
Coffee Mug
Davey.... are we pouring concrete today "
Elementary, my dear Watson.
Scratching at the inside of his coffin.
BART: I don't know where my hair starts
A slipper. (Made this up today, but almost definitely will have been made up before by someone else)
It has so many problems! -Sorry doing a whole bunch of math today and i thought of this.
Cos I'm quitting today."
Current.
Me : How about a newspaper. Wife : OK, which one Me : Today's.
Lettuce alone, without dressing. I remembered this today from a joke book I had when I was a kid. Wasn't sure if it should be here or /r/dadjokes
Couple's Daily Question Mug
Me: It'll be higher quality and less tense for everyone if we wait Boss: Today!
Doc says, "Tell him I can't see him today."
Three. One to post it, one to make a better punchline in the comments, and one to repost it the next day.
Those little guys don't hurt anybody. They just chill all day.
The spelling.
A man wears a suit and the dog, pants.
They use a cow-culator! Ba-dum-tsss!
Because they've lost their locks.
They were in a relationship!
Reflexivity and transitivity.
Cancer.
1. Becoming forgetful
A signtist!
He saw the snowblower coming
Aardvark a million miles for one of your smiles !
You only get paid in tips.
They both stop working properly when you open windows.
