Admit Jokes

What's the worst part about admitting to your friends and family you play PokemanGo?

Having to admit you have autism :,P

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What do you call it when you admit to being a prisoner?

A con-fession.

What does a pediatrist do when you ask them which body part they find most interesting?

They admit de feet.

Why didn't the movie ticket get convicted of both of its crimes?

It would only admit one.

Why did the vegetable thief get a lighter sentence?

Because he admitted the crime was *parsley* his fault.

Why can Egyptian crocodiles never admit when they are wrong?

They're always in de Nile.

Why did eighteen blondes go to the movies together?

A: They heard that under seventeen weren't admitted!

What do you call it when someone admits to caring about how they dress?

A confashion.

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What do you call a herpes pun?

a play on warts

Why did the pig go to the casino ?

To play the slop machine !

Eighteen Jokes More Eighteen Jokes

Why did eighteen blondes go to the movies together?

A: They heard that under seventeen weren't admitted!

Why is it called the sistine chapel?

Because the cardinals like to be in something, that isn't eighteen yet.

Egyptian Crocodile Jokes More Egyptian Crocodile Jokes

What do you call a an Egyptian crocodile who swears they live in Florida?

In da-Nile

Why can Egyptian crocodiles never admit when they are wrong?

They're always in de Nile.

Movie Jokes More Movie Jokes

What movie should we see?

ME, SECRETLY TRYING TO HARVEST HER INK: Something super scary *I empty my popcorn bucket*

Why can't a dog clap in the middle of a movie?

Because it keeps hitting pause.

Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

How do you ask a tyrannosaur out to lunch?

Tea, Rex?"

How do you ask a priest to hand you the spaghetti?

Pasta pasta, pasta.

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple?

The Holocaust.

What did Wonder Woman tell The Flash when he saw that he was greying?

I still find you dashing"

Friend Jokes More Friend Jokes

What do you like to do in your free time?

Guy: I spy on people. Girl: Really I like to take long walks in the park and go to the movies with my friends. Guy: I know.

Where's my money?

a loan shark "Where are my friends - alone shark

Bad Jokes More Bad Jokes

What's the worst part about dumping a Japanese girl?

You gotta drop the bomb twice before she gets the message.

What's the worst part about going to the doctor's and finding out you have diabetes?

You don't get a lollipop afterwards :/