Heroin Jokes

What does heroin make you feel like?

More heroin.

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What did the dealer say to Ted when he caught him stealing heroin?

Your addicted.

What happened to the Mexican after he took heroin for the third time?

He over 'd

How do you die by heroin?

When you are the villain

What do you call a drug addict that's allergic to heroin?

Cracktose Intolerant

What's the difference between heroin and the cast of the jersey shore?

I wouldn't shoot heroin.

What's the difference between a heroine and heroin?

One's an object that's easily abused, the other's a drug.

What's the difference between the Harriet Tubman and the Red Hot Chili Peppers?

Harriet Tubman was a heroine to the slaves the Red Hot Chili Peppers are slaves to the heroin!

Why do people always make such a fuss over how much a newborn weighs?

It's a baby, not a stash of heroin.

What's the difference between the Red Hot Chili Peppers and Harriet Tubman?

Harriet Tubman was a heroine to the slaves, but the Red Hot Chili Peppers were slaves to heroin.

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Catch Jokes More Catch Jokes

Why was the penguin banned from the Winter Olympics?

He was caught taking Polaroids.

What do Baptists and cats have in common?

You know they're doing it, you just can't catch them at it.

Harriet Tubman Jokes More Harriet Tubman Jokes

What's the difference between the Harriet Tubman and the Red Hot Chili Peppers?

Harriet Tubman was a heroine to the slaves the Red Hot Chili Peppers are slaves to the heroin!

How woke?

Me: We're putting Harriet Tubman on something that enslaves us all today.

Child Jokes More Child Jokes

Where is children?

Latvian man respond "Children is dead from childbirth." Bus leave.

What does a child without arms get for x-mas?

gloves! nah don't know, it hasn't opened the present yet

Lead Jokes More Lead Jokes

Why couldn't the police solve the case of the flat car battery?

They had no leads.

How do you get the walls of your house as bright as they can possibly be?

Use LED based paint.

Hipster Jokes More Hipster Jokes

How many hipsters does it take to...?

Bazinga! nobody cares! you fell for one of my practical jokes again.

Why did the hipster go to bed early?

Because he sleeps before it gets cool.

Wonder Woman Jokes More Wonder Woman Jokes

What does Wonder Woman call foreplay?

Amazon Prime.

What did Wonder Woman tell The Flash when he saw that he was greying?

I still find you dashing"

Ted Jokes More Ted Jokes

Why did Ted get fired from his job?

Because he would only do the minimum?

What's the difference between John Kenndy Jr. and Ted Kennedy?

Ted can swim away from an accident.

Hand Jokes More Hand Jokes

How do IT technicians prefer to be paid?

Cache in hand.

How do you offend a vegan?

Cover your ears with your hands