Hockey Jokes

With the NHL season getting started tonight. I am wondering what are you best jokes making fun off sports teams. All Sports (Baseball,hockey,football, soccer etc).

Why didn't Jesus like to play hockey?

He didn't like getting nailed to the boards.

Why dosn't Jesus christ play hockey?

Because he'd always get nailed into the boards

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Why can't dogs play hockey?

They always get called for roughing.

How did the blonde break her leg playing hockey with the Toronto Maple Leafs?

A: She fell out of the tree.

Why can't Jesus play hockey?

He keeps getting NAILED TO THE BOARDS!...

Why is Riot Fest going to be in Toronto?

They play music, not hockey.

Why aren't Hindu and Chinese people allowed to play hockey?

A: Because everytime they go into the corner they open up a convienent store.

What did they call it when NHL officials refused to allow a hamburger to play hockey in the league?

Rink injustice!

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Ice Hockey Jokes More Ice Hockey Jokes

How does Jerry Seinfeld play ice hockey?

With his Shtick.

Why did Jesus quit playing ice hockey?

He kept getting nailed to the boards.

Corner Jokes More Corner Jokes

Why can't Buddhists vacuum in corners?

Because they don't have attachments!

Why are there no Walmarts in Iran?

Because there's a JC Penny at every corner.

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

What did Jesus say when they un-nailed his hands from the cross?

THE FEET, THE FEET, THE FEET!!!

Why doesn't Jesus play hockey anymore?

He kept on getting nailed into the boards.

Soccer Jokes More Soccer Jokes

Why can't Cinderella play soccer?

Because she keeps running away from the ball

What was the first mention of soccer in the bible?

When Jesus went up for the cross.

Football Jokes More Football Jokes

How do you know the rules of football was written by an Italian?

You switch sides at half time.

What's the difference between the Friendzone and the Endzone?

Unlike football, you'll never get to spike it in the Friendzone.

Tonight Jokes More Tonight Jokes

Who's there ! Cantaloupe ! Cantaloupe who ?

Cantaloupe with you tonight !

How does a yoga instructor turn down an invite?

Namaste home tonight.

Sport Team Jokes More Sport Team Jokes

Which sports team honors the true spirit of Thanksgiving?

The Redskins

What are your best Sports Team jokes?

With the NHL season getting started tonight. I am wondering what are you best jokes making fun off sports teams. All Sports (Baseball,hockey,football, soccer etc).

Watch Jokes More Watch Jokes

What do you get if you watch the Blind Side backwards?

Oher's NFL career

Where is the remote?

All the way over there." "Guess I'm watching this."