Hockey Jokes

With the NHL season getting started tonight. I am wondering what are you best jokes making fun off sports teams. All Sports (Baseball,hockey,football, soccer etc).

Why didn't Jesus like to play hockey?

He didn't like getting nailed to the boards.

Why dosn't Jesus christ play hockey?

Because he'd always get nailed into the boards

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

5.0

Coffee Mug

Why can't dogs play hockey?

They always get called for roughing.

How did the blonde break her leg playing hockey with the Toronto Maple Leafs?

A: She fell out of the tree.

Why can't Jesus play hockey?

He keeps getting NAILED TO THE BOARDS!...

Why is Riot Fest going to be in Toronto?

They play music, not hockey.

Why aren't Hindu and Chinese people allowed to play hockey?

A: Because everytime they go into the corner they open up a convienent store.

What did they call it when NHL officials refused to allow a hamburger to play hockey in the league?

Rink injustice!

You might also enjoy:

Quit Jokes More Quit Jokes

Why did the man quit his job at the bakery?

He didn't knead any more dough.

Why did the can-crusher quit his job?

Because it was soda pressing.

Stop Jokes More Stop Jokes

What do mother's who boycott pharmacy drugs and kids who stop playing valve's fps' have in common?

They are both over the counter strike

What happens if Usain Bolt misses his bus?

He waits for it at the next stop.

Start Jokes More Start Jokes

What is Sean Connery's favorite sport, and around what age did he start playing?

Tennish

Why did the little black kid start crying when he had diarrhea?

He thought he was melting.

Game Jokes More Game Jokes

What animal is always at a game of cricket?

A bat.

What did fruit loops say when launching their product to compete with cheerios?

Toucan play at that game

Board Jokes More Board Jokes

Why is Peter Pan on the No-Fly list?

Whenever he boards a plane it neverlands

What did Christa McAuliffe say to her husband before she left her house to board the Challenger space shuttle?

You feed the dogs, and I'll feed the fish."

Nhl Jokes More Nhl Jokes

Why didn't Jesus ever play in the NHL?

because every time he tried he got nailed to the boards!

What will ESPN talk about if both the Hawks and Rockets make it to the NBA final?

The NHL playoffs

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

Why are women so afraid of looking stupid?

Because they don't want the world to know!

Why do Japanese women like foreign men?

Japanese men can't look them in the eye. Kappa

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

What does a suicidal person say while leaving a party?

I want to hang by myself for a bit. Edit: Not suicidal. Just gallows humor.

Why did the Ape jump off the building?

He wanted to show the world the stuff he was made of!