Insect Jokes

What did the insect say when he saw a gnat get hit?

He did gnat see that coming"

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What insect is the Wood Ant related to?

The Should Ant and the Could Ant.

Why won't you ever see an ant walk in a church?

They're insects. I'll show myself out.

Why don't ants go to church?

Because they are insects.

What do you call insects of the order Mantodea during mating season?

Laying mantises.

What insect would Richard Simmons be?

Is he a ladybug or a fruit fly?

What did the pink panther have all over his house after he fumigated for insects?

dead ants... dead ants... dead ants, dead ants, dead ants, dead ants, dead aaaaantsss

Why did the polar bears on Noah's Ark hang out near the insects?

They were looking for the ark tick.

Which insect didn't play well in goal ?

The fumble bee !

What's your favourite kind of insect?

FLY, YOU FOOLS!

What insect runs away from everything ?

A flee !

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What insect is good at math?

A: An account-ant.

What insect does a neckbeard keep as a pet?

M'ladybug

What happened to the man who turned into an insect ?

He just beetled off !

What do you call an insect that gets exposed to radiation but nothing of consequence happens to it?

A moot ant

Why was the insect kicked out of the wildlife preserve?

A: It was a litterbug.

What's the difference between a bug and an insect?

Judging by Table 5's reactions, not a lot.

What kind of insects to secret agents like?

as told by my 9 yr old) Spiders.

What insect can be spelled with just one letter?

Bee.

Which is the only insect that needs to wear shoes?

Mosqui-toes.

What do you get if you cross a firefly and a moth ?

An insect who can find its way around a dark wardrobe !

What do you get if you cross the Lone Ranger with an insect ?

The Masked-quito !

What do insects learn at school ?

Mothmatics !

Why does the Fonz dress up as an insect when going on a journey?

Because he wants to get from ayy to bee.

What lives in gum trees ?

Stick insects !

What do you call an insect with magical powers?

A spelling bee.

What do you get if you cross a moth with a firefly?

An insect that can find its way around a dark closet.

What do you get if you cross an insect and a dance ?

A cricket ball !

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Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What do you call 'looking for a Korean'?

Seoul searching

What is brown all around and looks good on a motorcyclist?

A coffin.

Church Jokes More Church Jokes

What do you call a book club that's been stuck on the same book for thousands of years?

Church.

What does a blind person read in church?

Holy Braille

Fruit Fly Jokes More Fruit Fly Jokes

Why a fruit doesn't walk?

Because fruit flies

What insect would Richard Simmons be?

Is he a ladybug or a fruit fly?

Richard Simmons Jokes More Richard Simmons Jokes

What do you get when you chop up a fruit and mix it with vegetables?

I don't know but it was hard as hell stealing thier wheelchairs with pieces of Richard Simmons tripping me up.

What insect would Richard Simmons be?

Is he a ladybug or a fruit fly?

Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

How many alcoholics does it take to change a light bulb?

Two. One to hold the bulb, and one to drink until the room starts spinning.

Why does the hobo only drink coffee?

Because he has no proper tea! Hehehhehahahahhhehveahhs

Hit Jokes More Hit Jokes

Why did you hit your birthday cake with a hammer?

Because you said it was pound cake!

What sound does a fratboy make when he hits the water?

DOUCHE

Pink Panther Jokes More Pink Panther Jokes

What did the Pink Panther say when he stepped on an ant?

Dead ant. Dead ant. Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead ant, dead annnnnnnnttt.

What did the pink panther say as he skipped down the sidewalk?

Dead ant, dead ant, dead ant dead ant dead ant dead annnnnt, deaaad ant.

Toe Jokes More Toe Jokes

Why can a T-Rex not touch his toes?

Because he's extinct

Why do ballet dancers always stand on their toes?

Could they not hire taller dancers