Insect Jokes

What did the insect say when he saw a gnat get hit?

He did gnat see that coming"

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What insect is the Wood Ant related to?

The Should Ant and the Could Ant.

Why won't you ever see an ant walk in a church?

They're insects. I'll show myself out.

Why don't ants go to church?

Because they are insects.

What do you call insects of the order Mantodea during mating season?

Laying mantises.

What insect would Richard Simmons be?

Is he a ladybug or a fruit fly?

What did the pink panther have all over his house after he fumigated for insects?

dead ants... dead ants... dead ants, dead ants, dead ants, dead ants, dead aaaaantsss

Why did the polar bears on Noah's Ark hang out near the insects?

They were looking for the ark tick.

Which insect didn't play well in goal ?

The fumble bee !

What's your favourite kind of insect?

FLY, YOU FOOLS!

What insect runs away from everything ?

A flee !

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What insect is good at math?

A: An account-ant.

What insect does a neckbeard keep as a pet?

M'ladybug

What happened to the man who turned into an insect ?

He just beetled off !

What do you call an insect that gets exposed to radiation but nothing of consequence happens to it?

A moot ant

Why was the insect kicked out of the wildlife preserve?

A: It was a litterbug.

What's the difference between a bug and an insect?

Judging by Table 5's reactions, not a lot.

What kind of insects to secret agents like?

as told by my 9 yr old) Spiders.

What insect can be spelled with just one letter?

Bee.

Which is the only insect that needs to wear shoes?

Mosqui-toes.

What do you get if you cross a firefly and a moth ?

An insect who can find its way around a dark wardrobe !

What do you get if you cross the Lone Ranger with an insect ?

The Masked-quito !

What do insects learn at school ?

Mothmatics !

Why does the Fonz dress up as an insect when going on a journey?

Because he wants to get from ayy to bee.

What lives in gum trees ?

Stick insects !

What do you call an insect with magical powers?

A spelling bee.

What do you get if you cross a moth with a firefly?

An insect that can find its way around a dark closet.

What do you get if you cross an insect and a dance ?

A cricket ball !

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Hungarian Jokes More Hungarian Jokes

What do you get when you burn a Hungarian ghost?

Ghoul-ash!

What do you call a Hungarian insect who won't leave siddhartha alone?

A Buddha-pest.

Win Jokes More Win Jokes

Who would win in a fight, Michael J. Fox or Taylor Swift?

Michael J. Fox he would just shake it off.

What happened when the Ape won the door prize?

He didn't take it - he already had a door!

Order Jokes More Order Jokes

What does M.Night Shyamalan always order when he goes out for ice cream?

A large twist cone.

Why were the people in the Twin Towers disappointed on 9/11?

They ordered 2 pepperoni pizzas, but all they got were 2 large plains.

Gnat Jokes More Gnat Jokes

What did the insect say when he saw a gnat get hit?

He did gnat see that coming"

How many gnats does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

It only takes two, but the trick is getting them in the lightbulb.

Feel Jokes More Feel Jokes

Why does 7 and 8 feel very uncomfortable?

Because they're stuck between a 69.

Why can't you feel photons?

Because they are light.

Richard Simmons Jokes More Richard Simmons Jokes

What's the difference between Gene Simmons and Richard Simmons?

One porks women the other un-porks them.

What insect would Richard Simmons be?

Is he a ladybug or a fruit fly?

Drink Jokes More Drink Jokes

What would happen if you crossed Magilla Gorilla with a Saint Bernard?

It would drink the brandy it would carry and act like a big Gorilla!

How do you turn German beer into American Beer?

Drink it

Thousand Jokes More Thousand Jokes

How do you make a tiramisu?

With a thousand Gigamisous

What do you call a book club that has been stuck on the same book for thousands of years?

Church.