Luke Skywalker Jokes

How did Luke Skywalker know what Darth Vader got him for Christmas?

He felt his presents.

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Why was Luke Skywalker late?

He didn't run, ewok-ed.

What did Luke Skywalker say to his sister's bully?

Don't you Leia finger on her

What car does Luke Skywalker drive?

A Toyoda

Why does Luke Skywalker never have trouble getting laid?

Because he always uses the force.

How tall is Luke Skywalker?

Six foot force :)

Why did Luke Skywalker bluff in a game of poker?

He heard Obi-Wan in his head saying Out, I shall let myself.

What did Luke Skywalker get for his 16th birthday?

A Toy-Yoda

How does Luke Skywalker get through the forest?

Ewoks

Why did Luke Skywalker get in trouble for using the Live Long and Prosper sign?

It's because he was accused of cultural appropriation.

Who does Luke Skywalker ask to charge his lightsaber?

Char-Jar Binks

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Why did Luke Skywalker and Princess Leia never get together?

Because Luke was looking for love in Alderaan places!!

What were Luke Skywalker's favourite model cars to play with as a kid?

Toyodas

Who would win if Luke Skywalker fought Harry Potter?

Me 5: Me: Get some coffee

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What game do old black people play?

Blingo!

What's w/the ice pack?

12: I have a headache. Me: Do you think it's a good idea to play video games if you have a headache 12: Yes.

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Whores?

Derivatives

What do whores and sailors have in common?

They are both always surrounded by sea - men! I made up this one.

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What did the cat say when it was wrongfully accused of a crime and sent behind bars?

Let Meowt!!!!"

Why was Sean Connery accused of piracy while drinking tea?

He took a ship.

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What kind of car does Yoda drive?

A Toy-Yoda

What did Luke Skywalker get for his 16th birthday?

A Toy-Yoda

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What's the first rule here, boys?

Kid:Don't poop your pants M:I was gonna say "have fun" but...OK.

Howard was a kid with a paper route?

Probably not. Opie delivered.

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How much longer?

Did you bring any snacks They want $5 for M&M's! I wanna go home Is it over yet - me watching my kids Christmas pageant

Why was Santa sacked two days before Christmas?

Elf and safety

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Why couldn't Princess Leia find love?

She was looking in Alderaan places.

Why could Luke and Leia never be together?

They went looking for love in Alderaan places.

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Why was Darth Vader so upset?

He was looking for the Rebels in Aldeerwrong places...

How did Darth Vader know what Luke was getting for Christmas?

He felt his presents.