Mafia Jokes

What do you call the mafia of aggressive pepper salesmen?

The all up in yo business.

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What does an aging Mafia boss do for his birthday?

Forget about it.

What's the difference between the Mafia and the Government?

Only one of them is organized.

Why did the mafia boss get banned from the aquarium?

He was sleeping with the fishes.

Why are there no jehovah's witnesses in Italy?

The mafia doesn't like witnesses.

What kind of lizard can run the mafia?

The Iguanodon

What's the difference between organized crime and the government?

Only one of them is organized. Couldn't help but post this. Went to see a former mafia boss today, and that joke was told leading up to him speaking.

What do you call the person that cleans the Mafia's hotel rooms?

A maid man.

Why did the mafia cross the road?

Hey forget about it

What is a Mafia enforcer's favorite game?

Whack-A-Mole

Why did the chicken cross the road, roll around in mud, and cross again after being caught by the mafia?

Because he was a dirty double crosser.

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How are the Mafia and the Amish similar?

They both don't like wires

What do you get if you cross a Sociologist with someone in the Mafia?

An offer you can't understand.

What's the difference between the government and the Mafia?

A: One of them is organized.

How many Mafia hitmen does it take to change a lightbulb ?

A: Three. One to screw it in one to watch and one to shoot the witness.

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Roll Jokes More Roll Jokes

What do you call a laptop in the ocean?

A Dell, rolling in the deep.

How do you teach your dog to roll over ?

Put him on fire.

Government Jokes More Government Jokes

What does the US Government use to spy on a high school student?

An essay.

What kind of cancer always stands by the government?

Pro-state cancer.

Dlc Jokes More Dlc Jokes

What do we call the process which usually happens after a company deliberately sells a misleading product to its customers?

DLC.

Why did the gamer cross the road?

Buy the DLC to find out

Sleep Jokes More Sleep Jokes

Where does King Kong sleep?

Anywhere he wants to.

What do light and hard have in common?

You can sleep with a light on.

Ban Jokes More Ban Jokes

What were the unauthorized protestors guilty of doing?

A: Marching banned.

Why are jokes about rotten eggs banned?

Because they're infeggtious

Post Jokes More Post Jokes

Where Did it go?

Where did that list of dark jokes posted this morning go? Iv looked everywhere.

What did Ghost A say to Ghost B?

Nothing because ghosts don't exist. Edit:Holy crap I just realized I didn't post this on /r/antijokes.

Russian Jokes More Russian Jokes

Why do Russians love Pho so much?

Because they're so...viet.

How do you know Putin is late for Thanks Giving?

He's Russian to Turkey.

Cross Jokes More Cross Jokes

Why did the accountant cross the road?

Because that's what they did last year.

Why were people angry wen the chiken crossed the rd?

Cus he looked one way, then another way after.