Thanksgive Dinner Jokes

What do thanksgiving dinner and the refugee crisis in Europe have in common?

Turkey and grease

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Why couldn't the pirate have gravy with his thanksgiving dinner?

Because someone stole his boat.

What will Putin be having for Thanksgiving dinner?

Turkey.

What will you have for Thanksgiving dinner?

Turkey"

What did the hoodrats have for thanksgiving dinner?

Twerkey

What's the best part of having Miley Cyrus over for thanksgiving dinner?

Unlimited twerky

Why do Native Americans like being invited to Thanksgiving dinners?

Because usually they're stuck with reservations.

Why don't you want a turkey at your thanksgiving dinner?

Because it'll gobble up everything.

What did the green onion say to the Thanksgiving dinner?

I ain't no chive, Turkey."

What's the best way to prepare a turkey for Thanksgiving dinner?

Just be *honest* with it man...

Why did the monster get a ticket at Thanksgiving dinner?

He was exceeding the feed limit!

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What did the mathematician say after Thanksgiving dinner?

1)/8"

Why was the cook late to Thanksgiving dinner?

He lost track of thyme. Happy Thanksgiving.

What are you going to have for Thanksgiving dinner?

Putin: "Turkey"

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What did the chef say when he ruined the soup with too many herbs?

Well, this was a waste of Thyme."

Why did the guy spend the entire day throwing out his surplus of herbs?

He had too much thyme on his hands.

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What do you call Vladimir Putin after an ultimate fighting championship?

Vloody Putin

What do you call a Soviet ruler dancing on a cracker?

Putin on the Ritz. *ba-dum tsh*

Grease Jokes More Grease Jokes

How many lawyers does it take to grease a combine?

Only one if you run him through slowly!

Where were the first French fries made?

in grease

Mathematician Jokes More Mathematician Jokes

How did the Mathematician cure his constipation?

He worked it out with a pencil.

What's the difference between a mathematician and a pizza?

A pizza can feed a family.

Prepare Jokes More Prepare Jokes

What do zombies use to prepare their turkeys for cooking on the smoker?

Briiiiines...

How do you prepare corn like Sean Connery?

Shuck it long, and shuck it hard.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

Why was Thor disappointed by his birthday party?

Because it was more Loki than he wanted.

Why are all early birds Catholics?

Protestant birds don't really want a Diet of Worms.

Miley Cyrus Jokes More Miley Cyrus Jokes

Which is the favorite US State of Miley Cyrus ?

Montana.

How did Mark Zuckerberg meet Miley Cyrus?

Social net twerking

Invite Jokes More Invite Jokes

Why do you always invite at least two mormons to go out fishing with you?

If you invite only one, you'll have to share your beer.

Why should you never invite a boxer to a party?

He always throws the punch.