Beef Jokes

What's the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

Everyone can roast beef, but no one can pea soup.

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What is it called when two Vegans get into an argument?

A Beef

Why did the vegan avoid the confrontation?

He didn't want any beef.

What's the one thing pacifism and Hinduism have in common?

Those who practice them don't want any beef with people.

What do chicken, beef and Russia have in common?

They are all against Turkey

What do you call a Knight that cuts beef?

Sir Loin.

What was the beef doing as he watched the salad dressing?

Stroganoff

Why did the cheeseburger fight the veggie burger?

It had beef.

What does Chick-fil-A and their CEO have in common?

Both hate when people stick beef between two buns.

Why don't Hindu rappers have battle raps?

Because they got no beef.

What do you call beef that's been burned?

A mis-steak.

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What did the mad cow say to the other cow?

You don't want beef with me

What do you call a mother who is overweight and poor?

Beef on WIC

What did the cow say to the slaughterhouse worker?

You want some beef

What do you call a woman made out of beef?

Patty

What did the human torch say before he cooked the beef?

FILET MIGNON!**

Why is the beef in Colorado so good?

Because the steaks are high.

Why can't the bankrupt cowboy complain?

A: He has got no beef.

What do you call it when you dip poultry and beef in chocolate?

Brown-chichen-Brown-cow

Who's there ! Beef ! Beef who ?

Beef fair now !

What do you call cow without a girlfriend?

Beef Stroken off

Why can't you use "Beef stew"as a password?

Because it's not stroganoff.

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What was the first joke ever written?

Ugh, Ugh Ugh? Uggh!

Why did the mermaid wear sea shells?

Cause she was too big for B- shells! (my 6 year old niece likes to tell this joke)

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Why can't student loan get a girlfriend?

Because he is forever a loan.

What did the dance instructor say to her student when the student wanted to use her bathroom?

Skip to my loo.

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What is the difference between roast beef and pee soup?

You can roast beef.

What did you have for breakfast?

Pea Soup Q: What did you have for lunch A: Pea Soup Q: What did you have for dinner A: Pea Soup Q: What did you do all night A: Pee soup...

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What do you call an Asian who's tolerable some of the time?

Occasionally (OK Asian Lee).

What does an agnostic, dyslexic insomniac spend his time doing?

Staying up all night wondering if there really is a dog.

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What has 3 heads, 2 legs, and 4 arms?

The finish line at the Boston Marathon.

What do you call a cow with 2 legs?

Lean Beef

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What' the difference between roast beef and pea soup?

Anyone can roast beef, but not everyone can pea soup. (As told by my 8yo, who made me laugh with a joke for the first time. Proud dad moment.)

What is the difference between roast beef and pee soup?

You can roast beef.

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Whats the difference between Mashed Potatoes and Pea Soup?

Anyone can mash potatoes!

What is the big difference between chopped pork and pea soup?

Everybody can chop pork but nobody can pea soup.

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What animal has five legs?

A pitbull returning from a playground.

Why was the double leg amputee sentenced to life?

He had no leg to stand on.