Beer Jokes

How do you change root beer in to a beer?

Put it in a square cup

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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Coffee Mug

What does an alcoholic do when he is out of beer?

Wine

What do you say to a Blonde that won't give in?

A: "Have another beer."

What am I gonna do with a river?

Could you cry me a beer

What happens to a woman who falls down the stairs?

Nothing, as long as she doesn't drop my beers

Why didn't Ahmadinejad have a beer?

He wasn't in the MahMoud.

What's the difference between a beer and a down syndrome kid?

If you end up with a badly poured beer you can blow it's head off.

What's the difference between having a badly poured draft beer and having a child with Down's Syndrome?

If the head's too big on your beer, you can blow it off.

Why are bunnies so good at brewing?

Cause beer is made with hops.

What is a toad's favorite kind of beer?

One with a lot of hops.

What is the difference between wealth and poverty?

And the dad says: 'Wealth is caviar, champagne and women. Poverty is hot pocket, beer and your mother!'

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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A ham sandwhich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says...

I'm sorry, we don't serve food here

A DHCP packet walks into a bar and asks for a beer.

Bartender says, "here, but I’ll need that back in an hour!"

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Difference Jokes More Difference Jokes

What's the difference between a hippo and a zippo?

One is really heavy, the other is a little lighter.

What's the difference between a petri dish and white people?

A petri dish develops a culture.

Terrible Jokes More Terrible Jokes

What would be a terrible name for a new beer?

Q: What would be a terrible name for a new beer A: "Mondays"...because no one would EVER want to buy a case of the Mondays...

What do Winnie the Pooh and Ivan the Terrible have in common?

The same middle name. (Shamelessly stolen from Cortana.)

Round Jokes More Round Jokes

Why can't horses fix merry go rounds?

They'd be terrified

What's high in the middle and round on both ends?

Ohio.

Monday Jokes More Monday Jokes

Why do physicists have such a hard time figuring out why their experiments fail Monday through Thursday?

Causal fridays.

What fundamental force compels physicists to go to work on Mondays?

The week force.

Nut Jokes More Nut Jokes

What does a mechanic do for a one night stand?

He nuts and bolts.

What does a mechanic do during a 1 night stand?

He screws, nuts, and bolts

German Beer Jokes More German Beer Jokes

Why should you never drink German beer with Chinese food?

An hour later you're hungry for power.

How do you turn German beer into American Beer?

Drink it

Ex Jokes More Ex Jokes

Why was ex so lonely at the party?

Because every time he tried to integrate, he ended up with himself.

What happened when the pig ran into his ex?

there was a porkward silence

Case Jokes More Case Jokes

What is the magic word?

son: Natasha Dad: who is Natasha son: your lover Dad: do you need also a case

Why should you always bring 2 pair of trousers when golfing?

In case you get a hole in one.