Beer Jokes

How do you change root beer in to a beer?

Put it in a square cup

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What does an alcoholic do when he is out of beer?

Wine

What do you say to a Blonde that won't give in?

A: "Have another beer."

What am I gonna do with a river?

Could you cry me a beer

What happens to a woman who falls down the stairs?

Nothing, as long as she doesn't drop my beers

Why didn't Ahmadinejad have a beer?

He wasn't in the MahMoud.

What's the difference between a beer and a down syndrome kid?

If you end up with a badly poured beer you can blow it's head off.

What's the difference between having a badly poured draft beer and having a child with Down's Syndrome?

If the head's too big on your beer, you can blow it off.

Why are bunnies so good at brewing?

Cause beer is made with hops.

What is a toad's favorite kind of beer?

One with a lot of hops.

What is the difference between wealth and poverty?

And the dad says: 'Wealth is caviar, champagne and women. Poverty is hot pocket, beer and your mother!'

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A ham sandwhich walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender says...

I'm sorry, we don't serve food here

A DHCP packet walks into a bar and asks for a beer.

Bartender says, "here, but I’ll need that back in an hour!"

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Favourite Brand Jokes More Favourite Brand Jokes

What's a zombies favourite brand of crisps?

Walkers

Whats your favourite brand of beer?

When i was younger, i used to drink any brand of beer, but now i am older Budweiser

Dollar Jokes More Dollar Jokes

What does a pound, a dollar and rumble have in common?

For a dollar you can get a pound of rubles.

How much does a moil get paid?

A: Fifty dollars and a tip.

American Jokes More American Jokes

What do you call an American who does not like apple pie?

A Communist

What do cheese and cancer have in common?

Americans put it everywhere!

German Jokes More German Jokes

Why did the German baker claim on his insurance at Christmas?

Because his bread was stollen!!!

Why are there so many trees along the Champs-lyses?

Because ze Germans like to march in ze shade.

Deer Jokes More Deer Jokes

What do you call it when a deer knows karate?

Tae-fawn-doe

What do you call a deer without eyes?

No-eye deer! Note: we are from Hicksville, USA. This may not make sense without the Midwestern accent.

Change Jokes More Change Jokes

Why do they want to change the faces on dollars but not on coins?

Because the only constant is change.

Who and Facebook?

When the Doctor changes the timeline, it's usually for a good reason.

Deer Nut Jokes More Deer Nut Jokes

What's the difference between... deer nuts and beer nuts?

Beer nuts are over a dollar deer nuts are under a buck. (old but good)

How are beer nuts like deer nuts?

You can find a small bag of each under a buck.

Want Jokes More Want Jokes

How many psychologists does it take to change a tire?

Just one, but first the tire really has to want to change.

Why did the bear run around his bed?

He wanted to catch up on his sleep.