Boston Marathon Jokes

What do a Boston Marathon runner and Jesus have in common?

Nails in their hands and feet

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What has five arms, three legs and a head?

The finish line at the Boston Marathon

What has 5 arms, 3 legs, and 2 feet?

The finish line at the Boston Marathon.

What has 3 heads, 2 legs, and 4 arms?

The finish line at the Boston Marathon.

Why does everyone keep saying the Boston Marathon was a tragedy?

I heard everybody had a blast.

What has 9 arms, 7 legs, 4 heads, and 13 feet?

The finish line of the Boston Marathon.

What do you call 2 White Russians and a Jager bomb?

A Boston Marathon.

What has 1 hand, 3 legs, 6 feet, and 2 heads?

The finish line at the Boston Marathon.

Why did the Boston Marathon runner collapse before finishing the race?

WTF ) His thighs were burning too bad.

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2 Jokes More 2 Jokes

What's the craic?

2: Not much, Brian. I had a pint yesterday. 1: Oh! Really I thought you were only 15 2: I am! 1: So what was it Guiness 2: No, it was water.

What is a oreo?

2 gang members smashing a white boys face.

Hear Jokes More Hear Jokes

What's the worst thing you can hear while taking the bus?

ALLAHUUUUUU AKBARRRR

Why are there so many Asians?

Its the food. There is too much raw dog. Heard it on Adam Carolla's Podcast. A caller phoned in and told it to Adam. Thought you guys would like it.

Russian Jokes More Russian Jokes

Why couldn't the Soviet Union get anything done?

They were always either Russian or Stalin.

Why did Putin forget his backpack at home when leaving for school?

He was Russian.

1 Jokes More 1 Jokes

How many blondes does it take to screw a light bulb?

Just 1...blondes will screw anything.

Why was Hillary thrown out of a restaurant?

She trashed the bill. Alt punch line 1 (u/Causative): She demanded her own private server and tried to have her meals removed.

Head Jokes More Head Jokes

What does a half-dressed Sikh wear on his head?

A subturban!

What's hard and hairy and sticks out of your pajamas at night?

Your head.

Holocaust Jokes More Holocaust Jokes

What kind of vehicle did they use to transport prisoners to concentration camps during the holocaust?

Ju-Haul

What's the difference between the Holocaust and this joke?

The Holocaust was funny.

Jesus Jokes More Jesus Jokes

Why did Carrie Underwood run out of cheese?

Because Jesus took the wheel.

What were Jesus' final words?

So long and thanks for all the fish." Edit: Everyone hates me.

4 Jokes More 4 Jokes

What has 9 arms, 7 legs, 4 heads, and 13 feet?

The finish line of the Boston Marathon.

Why did the Polish couple decide to have only 4 children?

A: They'd read in the newspaper that one out of every five babies born in the world today is Chinese.