Eskimo Jokes

What do you call a lesbian Eskimo?

A Klondike.

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What to you call an Eskimo peeping Tom?

Tommy Tookalook

What happens to eskimos who sit on the ice too long?

Polaroids! I'm so bored...

Why did the eskimo spend 3 hours arguing with the return counter?

Because the warranty is void if the seal is broken.

What do you call an Eskimo peeping tom?

Tukaluk

How many eskimos does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Two. Obviously.

What happened when the Eskimo teens went clubbing?

They got new fur coats.

What do you call an Eskimo who's a peeping tom?

Itookalook

What did the Eskimo say about the interface on his new iphone?

It was counter-inuitive.

What do you get when you cross a mexican, a queer, and an eskimo?

A snow-blower that doesn't work.

Why did the Eskimo wash his clothes in tide?

Because it was too cold out tide.

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Why did no one like the Eskimo accountant?

Because he was cold and calculating.

What does an Eskimo girl say before she is about to lose her virginity?

Careful Dad, don't squish my smokes."

What do you call an Eskimo optometrist?

An optical Aleutian. I actually made this one up. But if someone else said it first, I wouldn't be surprised.

What do you call it when an Eskimo makes a dirty joke?

Inuit-endo

Why didn't the Eskimo want to go hunting?

I don't know, guess he just wasn't Inuit.

What do you call the secret Eskimo organization that controls the world?

The Igloominati.

Why did the Eskimo break up with his girlfriend?

He just wasn't really Inuit...

How does an Eskimo build his house?

Igloos it together.

What does an Eskimo do if his house falls down?

Igloos it back together.

What do you call a detective novel about eskimos?

Whodinuit

What did the Eskimo schoolboy say to the Eskimo schoolgirl?

What's an ice girl like you doing in a place like this

What do you call an eskimo with no friends?

An iglooser

What did the Eskimo children sing when their principal was leaving?

Freeze a Jolly Good Fellow.

Where is your mother from?

The second Eskimo says "Alaska."

What do Eskimo's and Ziploc bags have in common?

They both like a tight seal.

What did the eskimo say when her water broke?

Oh no, my ice cracked!

What is snow?

No one would say: It's doubtful an Eskimo would have Chionophobia, a fear of this.

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What did the kid who could see dead eskimos say?

Icy dead people!

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What would Hillary tell Bill when she will sit at the Oval Office?

Close, Bill, but no cigar!"

What do you call a dragon that can't sit still?

A wiggle wyrm.

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What kind of liquid does a pig's printer use?

oink

What kind of martial art does a chef do?

Kung food (Don't hurt me, I know it's bad)

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What do you get when you give your kids participation trophies?

The electoral college in 2016.

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Icy dead people!

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What do you call a crocodile/robot sent from the future to save the past?

Termigator (jesus christ this one's even worse than the last)

Why did Jesus get all the ladies?

Because he was hung like this (extends arms to sides)

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Why do men stare at a woman's breasts?

To prove they can focus on two things at once.

Why do women love chocolate?

Because it's the only time 'rich' and 'dark' are used to describe the same thing.

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Icy dead people.

How can you spell chilly with two letters?

IC (icy) .

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How do Eskimos make things stick together?

Igloo

What did Jesus say to the Eskimos?

Many are cold, but few are frozen.