Mole Jokes

Why was the mole afraid of his own shadow?

Because he thought it was another mole, due to his poor eyesight.

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How can you tell if someone is a chemistry major?

They have a mole on their body.

Why was Avogadro executed?

He was a mole

What does a mole think, when he digs trough lower Austria?

Make way, children.

What animal has exactly 12 grams of carbon?

A mole

What do eagles and moles have in common?

They both fly, except for the mole...

What do a mole and an eagle have in common?

They both live underground. Except for the eagle.

What do an eagle and a mole have in common?

They both live underground, **except for the eagle.**

What did the mole say when someone told him there were entire above-ground civilizations?

Holy moley, I didn't know that!"

How many moles are in a guacamole?

Avacado's number.

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What is the definition of a goose ?

An animal that grows down as it grows up !

What do you call a cross between a dog and a turtle?

A cross. The animals around it have no effect on its name duh.

Avocado Jokes More Avocado Jokes

What's black on the outside, green on the inside and can go through walls?

Ghost avocado.

When an avocado and a duck mate, what sound does the offspring make?

Guac!

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

Why can't the NSA leaker leave Russia?

Because he's Snow'd-in!

Why are sardines the stupidest fish in the sea ?

Because they climb into tins close the lid and leave teh key outside !

Execute Jokes More Execute Jokes

Why was Gollum executed at a bar in Iraq?

Because he asked for Ice-es

How do Asians execute white people?

They cut off their heads using a Gweilotine.

Cut Jokes More Cut Jokes

What did the manager of a log cutting company tell his employees when they were working too slow?

Chop chop.

How do Mexicans cut pizza?

Little Caesars (say it out loud)

Tell Jokes More Tell Jokes

How can you tell that the movie Martian is not realistic?

Because Americans use imperial unit system.

What's the difference between a carpenter and a construction worker?

30 IQ points. This, as any carpenter will tell you, isn't a joke.

Game Jokes More Game Jokes

What do you call the game that centres around weak leadership?

Reddit.

What's so lame about a duck President?

Pieces of bread, quacking, getting into all types of duck antics in the Oval Office! I'm game!

6.02 Jokes More 6.02 Jokes

What do you get when you cut an Avocado into 6.02 x 1023 pieces?

a guacaMOLE

What do you get if you cut an avocado into 6.02 * 1023 pieces?

Guacamole.