Morning Jokes

What would the blind man say every morning when he walked past the fish market?

Good morning, ladies!"

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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What do cats read in the morning ?

Mewspapers !

When did she die?

My guess would be sometime this morning.

What losses its head in the morning and gets it back in the evening?

A pillow

Why does a girls rub her eyes in the morning?

A. Because they don't have balls to itch.

How are you doing this morning?

Me: *finishing hanging bag of coffee upside down like an IV and tying my arm off* Fine, you

What's the inscription on dead blues-singers tombstones?

A: "I didn't wake up this morning..."

What did the cow say to the paintbrush?

Moo. As told by my kid this morning.

What has everyone been using to get ice of their cars in the morning?

I've been using a discount card, but I can only ever get 20% off

I dropped a pear in my car this morning.

You should drop another one, then you would have a pair.

The Sergeant-Major growled at the young soldier: I didn’t see you at camouflage training this morning.

Thank you very much, sir.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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Road Jokes More Road Jokes

Why did religion cross the road?

God is the answer.

Why did Serj Tankian cross the road?

because he wanted to...

Lumberjack Jokes More Lumberjack Jokes

What did the tree say to the lumberjack?

I'm falling for you

What did the lumberjack say when his colleague went home sick?

Hope you fell better tomorrow.

Window Jokes More Window Jokes

What do you call a window that can rap?

Two Panes

What was it called when the dragon from The Hobbit was thrown out a window?

The Defenestration of Smaug.

People Jokes More People Jokes

How many people does it take to screw in a light bulb?

Just two. It only requires that either the people are very small or the light bulb is very large.

Why was the army recruiter in the nursery?

To find more people for the infantry! I'm sorry.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

What's the most popular soup in China?

Chicken poodle soup...I know, I know booooo

What did one earthquake say to the other?

I don't know what your blaming me for, it's your fault!"

Let Jokes More Let Jokes

What's the difference between a Chickpea and a Garbonzo bean?

I wouldn't let a Garbonzo bean all over my face.

Why don't we tell the people that every snowflake is unique?

It's not like they'll ever really check "Let's do it"

Cat Jokes More Cat Jokes

Why does everyone love cats?

A: They're purr-fect!

Why dogs are called K9?

Because cats are K10

Lady Jokes More Lady Jokes

Who was that lady I saw you with last night?

The Canadian says "That was my wife."

Why did the lady at the bar slap the man next to her for stroking his mustache?

Because in between stroking it, he said "hello, let me clear you off a place to sit."