Morning Jokes

What would the blind man say every morning when he walked past the fish market?

Good morning, ladies!"

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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Coffee Mug

What do cats read in the morning ?

Mewspapers !

When did she die?

My guess would be sometime this morning.

What losses its head in the morning and gets it back in the evening?

A pillow

Why does a girls rub her eyes in the morning?

A. Because they don't have balls to itch.

How are you doing this morning?

Me: *finishing hanging bag of coffee upside down like an IV and tying my arm off* Fine, you

What's the inscription on dead blues-singers tombstones?

A: "I didn't wake up this morning..."

What did the cow say to the paintbrush?

Moo. As told by my kid this morning.

What has everyone been using to get ice of their cars in the morning?

I've been using a discount card, but I can only ever get 20% off

I dropped a pear in my car this morning.

You should drop another one, then you would have a pair.

The Sergeant-Major growled at the young soldier: I didn’t see you at camouflage training this morning.

Thank you very much, sir.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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Ask Jokes More Ask Jokes

What does a piano, tuna, and a bucket of glue have in common?

You can tuna piano but you can't piano a tuna! Don't ask me about the bucket of glue though... I've been stuck there for a while

How many are you?

We are three. - Three - Me and my brother. - You have a brother - No why do you ask

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

When the zombies want Twisties! take a look on this zombies viral video, serious feedback please :) http://www.youtube.com/watch?

v=vdRiMBPbQ8

What is the Fonz looking forward to the most in the future?

The iPhone Ayyyye-t

Good Morning Jokes More Good Morning Jokes

What did the blind man say when he walked by the fish market?

Good morning ladies.

What would the blind man say every morning when he walked past the fish market?

Good morning, ladies!"

Man Jokes More Man Jokes

What do men and Subway have in common?

They both exaggerate the length.

Why wouldn't the man dance?

His pants had no ballroom.

Wife Jokes More Wife Jokes

Why do woman out live men?

They don't have wives

What do you call your wife and mother-in-law when they're riding in the same car?

Dual air bags.

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

Why don't blind people like to skydive?

Because it scares the dog.

What kind of watch is best for people who don't like time on their hands?

A pocket watch.

Afternoon Jokes More Afternoon Jokes

Why were you late?

Pupil: Sorry teacher I overslept. Teacher: It's three in the afternoon!

Why is it dangerous to go into the jungle between two and four in the afternoon?

That's when dinosaurs are jumping out of palm trees.

Cannibal Jokes More Cannibal Jokes

When/why do feminists hate cannibals?

When they make sandwiches, because they're man-spreading.

Why don't cannibals like clowns?

they taste funny!