Medicine Jokes

What do you call a French dog that sells medicine?

Un phrarmachien!

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Where do Amish people go to get medicine?

To the farmacy.

What kind of medicine do you give a kid having a fit?

An anti-hissy-tamine.

Why is there no point in sending medicine to Athiopia?

Because the instructions usually say: "Take after meals."

What kind of medicine do Ants use when they have eye problems?

Ant-Eye Biotics (Dad joke, I know)

What do you call alternative medicine that works?

Medicine.

Why do pigs run from medicine?

They hate getting cured.

Why didn't the guy with ADHD take his medicine?

He forgot.

What kind of medicine do bears take?

Bayer Asprin

What did the head trauma patients do when the price of medicine went up?

A: They went on stroke.

Why does your little brother jump up and down before taking his medicine?

Boy: Because he read the label and it said 'shake well before using.'

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Why did Dracula need medicine?

Because he was coffin.

What medicine would you give an ill ant ?

Antibiotics !

What did people start calling the medical school that allowed animals to study medicine?

The hippocampus.

What kind of medicine does Dracula take for a cold?

Coffin medicine.

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When an Amish buggy breaks down on the side of the road, who do they call?

Triple Hay

What goes clop, clop, bang bang bangbangbang!clop,clop,clop?

An amish driveby

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How many kids with ADHD does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

Wanna go ride bikes?

Where do kids with ADHD go?

To concentration camps.

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Why Are Mexican &amp?

Black Jokes Overdone? Once you've heard Juan, you've heard Jamal!...I'm sorry, you can hate me if you wish. ;(

Why do tailors hate statisticians?

They insist that the fit could be better.

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What did they give the guy who invented the doorknocker?

A no-bell prize

What do you say to a guy who is covered in rodents?

Mice outfit!

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Why don't you want to take a Pokemon into the bathroom?

Because it might Pikachu.

What does a drug addict and a child have in common?

They both want tablets for Christmas.

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What subject did Dracula major in during college?

AcCOUNTing This joke must be on a popsicle stick somewhere.

How does Dracula keep fit?

He plays batminton.

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What satellite TV provider does ISIS use?

Daesh Network

Why did the boy stop using his Sony, his Boombox, and his Bose Radio?

He stopped believing in stereotypes.

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Why is it a bad idea to run behind a car?

You'll get exhausted

What's the difference between Politicians and Thieves?

Thief: They steal your money then run Politician: They run and then steal your money