French Jokes

What would you get if you crossed the Easter Bunny with a famous French general?

Napoleon Bunnyparte!

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

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How do you distinguish a French tank from a British tank?

The rear-view mirrors

What do you call a french racist?

A beget!

What do you call a French pole vaulter?

A Leap Frog

How do you stop a French tank?

A: Shoot the guy that's pushing it!

Why are there windows on the back of French tanks?

So they can watch the battle

When people go to ask me "hey man, are you from Los Angeles?

I'll be like "nah dude,I just really like the french feminine definite article"

How do you know the Statue of Liberty isn't French?

It doesn't have both arms raised. And yes I know the French manufactured the Statue of Liberty and gave it to the United States

What do you call a french organized crime detective?

J'accuza

What did Shawn like most about his trip to Paris?

He said it was lovely to hear the French pheasants singing the Mayonnaise."

How do French poodles greet each other?

A: Bone-jour.

Couple's Daily Question Mug

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Why is the Statue of Liberty hollow?

Because she's really French, and the French have no GUTS!

What do you call a french man who's been attacked by a bear?

Claude

What is the French verb that means "To declare war"?

Surrendre*

What's the difference between In-n-Out Burger french fries and League of Legends?

I can control my salt intake at In-n-out.

How do I know he was French, do you ask?

He went oui, oui.

Why wasn't Euro Disney popular?

Every time they set off the fireworks, the French surrendered.

When my wife does our daughter's hair: "How about a double French braid swirled into a fancy bun?

When I do her hair: "How about a hat "

Why do we need France on our side against Saddam and Osama?

A. So the French can show them how to surrender.

What do French stoners smoke?

Oui-d

Why does ISIS drink instant coffee?

Because they hate French press!

What did one dehydrated French guy say to the other?

What do we do now, Pierre

Who loves hamburgers French fries and ants?

Ronald MacAardvark!

Why did the French have so many civil wars?

So they could win one.

What's the sound that a French tank does just before the enemy frontline attacks?

Beep Beep Beep...

Why do the French only have one egg for breakfast?

Because one egg is un oeuf.

Why was Les miserable?

He was French.

Why did the French fry call the police?

Because it was a(salt)ted.

Why do the french hate League of Legends?

They have to wait 20 minutes before surrendering

did you know the first French fries weren't cooked in France?

they were cooked in Greece

How does a French skeleton say hello?

Bone-jour.

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English Jokes More English Jokes

How do you say nachos in English??

Mine!

What's the different between E.T. and a refugee?

E.T. learned English and wanted to go home

Thing Jokes More Thing Jokes

What do you call a Russian wearing a head scarf, a balaclava and a helmet?

Anything you want. He can't hear a thing.

How is an easily-offended person like a broken GPS?

They always take things the wrong way.

Horrible Person Jokes More Horrible Person Jokes

What do you call a French human delicacy?

Estruckgo I came up with this while drinking french vodka. I am a horrible person when i drink french vodka.

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies?

I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage I do realize this is a sick joke but it still makes me laugh when I hear it. I'm a horrible person

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

How was 9/11 an inside job?

If the planes came from the outside.

How does a woman know she's sleeping with a forklift driver?

He beeps twice before coming through the flaps.

Motto Jokes More Motto Jokes

What's the motto of the Singaporean police?

Big Brudder is watching you

What's the motto of the Greek army?

Never leave your buddy's behind.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

How do government employees wink when they're at work?

They briefly open one eye.

Why are Gorillas underpaid?

They're willing to work peanuts!

Bonjour Jokes More Bonjour Jokes

What did one French Guy say to another French Guy?

Bonjour, je m'apelle Guy aussi!" ("Hello, I am called Guy as well!")

How do you say "I surrender" in french?

Bonjour"

Like Jokes More Like Jokes

What do you call a girl who only likes guys with big muscles?

A Biceptual

What's love?

Me: Well, all the women text you except the one you like. And it hurts, so we drink. Sister: Get away from him!