French Jokes

What would you get if you crossed the Easter Bunny with a famous French general?

Napoleon Bunnyparte!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Coffee Mug

How do you distinguish a French tank from a British tank?

The rear-view mirrors

What do you call a french racist?

A beget!

What do you call a French pole vaulter?

A Leap Frog

How do you stop a French tank?

A: Shoot the guy that's pushing it!

Why are there windows on the back of French tanks?

So they can watch the battle

When people go to ask me "hey man, are you from Los Angeles?

I'll be like "nah dude,I just really like the french feminine definite article"

How do you know the Statue of Liberty isn't French?

It doesn't have both arms raised. And yes I know the French manufactured the Statue of Liberty and gave it to the United States

What do you call a french organized crime detective?

J'accuza

What did Shawn like most about his trip to Paris?

He said it was lovely to hear the French pheasants singing the Mayonnaise."

How do French poodles greet each other?

A: Bone-jour.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Coffee Mug

Why is the Statue of Liberty hollow?

Because she's really French, and the French have no GUTS!

What do you call a french man who's been attacked by a bear?

Claude

What is the French verb that means "To declare war"?

Surrendre*

What's the difference between In-n-Out Burger french fries and League of Legends?

I can control my salt intake at In-n-out.

How do I know he was French, do you ask?

He went oui, oui.

Why wasn't Euro Disney popular?

Every time they set off the fireworks, the French surrendered.

When my wife does our daughter's hair: "How about a double French braid swirled into a fancy bun?

When I do her hair: "How about a hat "

Why do we need France on our side against Saddam and Osama?

A. So the French can show them how to surrender.

What do French stoners smoke?

Oui-d

Why does ISIS drink instant coffee?

Because they hate French press!

What did one dehydrated French guy say to the other?

What do we do now, Pierre

Who loves hamburgers French fries and ants?

Ronald MacAardvark!

Why did the French have so many civil wars?

So they could win one.

What's the sound that a French tank does just before the enemy frontline attacks?

Beep Beep Beep...

Why do the French only have one egg for breakfast?

Because one egg is un oeuf.

Why was Les miserable?

He was French.

Why did the French fry call the police?

Because it was a(salt)ted.

Why do the french hate League of Legends?

They have to wait 20 minutes before surrendering

did you know the first French fries weren't cooked in France?

they were cooked in Greece

How does a French skeleton say hello?

Bone-jour.

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How did spider-man reach the inner city kids?

He web-slang

When did you first miss it dear?

Professor: When I reached up to close it after the rain had stopped.

Water Jokes More Water Jokes

What did the giant wave say to the man?

Nothing he just waved. Sea what I did there? Sorry sometimes I get a bit carried away, it like a tsunami of puns. Water these puns! they're horrible, I'll stop now.

What is the difference between a boat and a woman?

The boat cuts through the water, a woman waters through the cut.

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What's the difference between the US and yogurt?

If you leave yogurt alone for 300 years, it develops a culture.

Why does Britain love tea so much?

Because tea leaves.

French Guy Jokes More French Guy Jokes

What did the French guy say when a bird pooped on him?

I have Grey Poupon me

What did the French guy say when he forgot to tell his driver to turn left?

Oh, gosh!

Horrible Person Jokes More Horrible Person Jokes

What do you call a French human delicacy?

Estruckgo I came up with this while drinking french vodka. I am a horrible person when i drink french vodka.

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies?

I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage I do realize this is a sick joke but it still makes me laugh when I hear it. I'm a horrible person

Joke Jokes More Joke Jokes

What's faster than Usain Bolt ?

Jokes reposts

Why did the redditor cross the subreddit?

To recycle a joke from the other side.

Work Jokes More Work Jokes

Why do elephants paint their testicles red?

So they can hide in cherry trees. Ever seen an elephant in a cherry tree? Shows you it works then. What's the loudest noise in the jungle? Monkeys picking cherries.

Why did this adhesive strip quit his work?

He just couldn't tape it anymore..

Pronounce Jokes More Pronounce Jokes

How can you determine which of two people is a chemist and which is a plumber?

You ask them to pronounce unionize.

How can you tell if a person works in HR or IT?

Ask them to pronounce the following: **HIRES**