French Jokes

What would you get if you crossed the Easter Bunny with a famous French general?

Napoleon Bunnyparte!

Couple's Daily Question Mug

Couple's Daily Question Mug
5.0

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How do you distinguish a French tank from a British tank?

The rear-view mirrors

What do you call a french racist?

A beget!

What do you call a French pole vaulter?

A Leap Frog

How do you stop a French tank?

A: Shoot the guy that's pushing it!

Why are there windows on the back of French tanks?

So they can watch the battle

When people go to ask me "hey man, are you from Los Angeles?

I'll be like "nah dude,I just really like the french feminine definite article"

How do you know the Statue of Liberty isn't French?

It doesn't have both arms raised. And yes I know the French manufactured the Statue of Liberty and gave it to the United States

What do you call a french organized crime detective?

J'accuza

What did Shawn like most about his trip to Paris?

He said it was lovely to hear the French pheasants singing the Mayonnaise."

How do French poodles greet each other?

A: Bone-jour.

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug

Interactive Joke of the Day Mug
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Coffee Mug

Why is the Statue of Liberty hollow?

Because she's really French, and the French have no GUTS!

What do you call a french man who's been attacked by a bear?

Claude

What is the French verb that means "To declare war"?

Surrendre*

What's the difference between In-n-Out Burger french fries and League of Legends?

I can control my salt intake at In-n-out.

How do I know he was French, do you ask?

He went oui, oui.

Why wasn't Euro Disney popular?

Every time they set off the fireworks, the French surrendered.

When my wife does our daughter's hair: "How about a double French braid swirled into a fancy bun?

When I do her hair: "How about a hat "

Why do we need France on our side against Saddam and Osama?

A. So the French can show them how to surrender.

What do French stoners smoke?

Oui-d

Why does ISIS drink instant coffee?

Because they hate French press!

What did one dehydrated French guy say to the other?

What do we do now, Pierre

Who loves hamburgers French fries and ants?

Ronald MacAardvark!

Why did the French have so many civil wars?

So they could win one.

What's the sound that a French tank does just before the enemy frontline attacks?

Beep Beep Beep...

Why do the French only have one egg for breakfast?

Because one egg is un oeuf.

Why was Les miserable?

He was French.

Why did the French fry call the police?

Because it was a(salt)ted.

Why do the french hate League of Legends?

They have to wait 20 minutes before surrendering

did you know the first French fries weren't cooked in France?

they were cooked in Greece

How does a French skeleton say hello?

Bone-jour.

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Water Jokes More Water Jokes

How do you stop a lawyer from drowning?

Shoot before he hits the water.

What Color Is It?

In case you hadn't noticed, the color of the wind is 'blew.' Water always looks 'wet' to me. Dirt is oviously 'dirty.' Soup seems 'soupy.' If you can't find those Crayons in your box, contact CRAYOLA.

German Jokes More German Jokes

What did the German say when the Spaniard asked him for some cheese?

Mi Kase es su Kase.

How do you make a German shepherd?

Put him in a synagogue.

Click Jokes More Click Jokes

Why do you want to be a psychiatrist?

pictures clients acting like chickens after I click my fingers* I want to help people

How Far Can a Fox... Q: How far can a fox run into a grove?

A: Only halfwaythen he's running out of it! Click here: http://redd.it/2o1hgq

Come Jokes More Come Jokes

What's the best joke you know that's kid-safe?

I know plenty of raunchy jokes, but was asked this recently and came up blank

Why people cry during the weddings?

they are preparing for whats coming afterwards

Horrible Person Jokes More Horrible Person Jokes

What do you call a French human delicacy?

Estruckgo I came up with this while drinking french vodka. I am a horrible person when i drink french vodka.

What's the difference between a Lamborghini and a pile of dead babies?

I don't have a Lamborghini in my garage I do realize this is a sick joke but it still makes me laugh when I hear it. I'm a horrible person

Speak Jokes More Speak Jokes

What do you call a person who speaks three languages?

Trilingual! Two Languages Bilingual! Only one language Americans

What does a deaf math nerd speak?

Sine language.

Know Jokes More Know Jokes

Why do mice have small balls?

Not many of them know how to dance.

Why can't British people go to North Korea?

Nobody at the ticket counter knows what "north career" means

Leave Jokes More Leave Jokes

What do you call a guy with no arms, no legs, and sits in a pile of leaves?

Russell.

Why was there no food left at the Halloween party?

Because everyone was a goblin