Log Jokes

What did Mr. Spock find in the toilet?

The Captains log

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What will you find in the toilet of a ship?

The captains log.

What's in the toilet of the Star Ship enterprise?

The captains log

How do trees access the internet?

They log on

What is something you can use to find the pH of tree sap?

A log!

How do you know you're not logged into reddit?

There are posts on the frontpage

Why are lumberjacks bad at online video games?

Because their connections are so weak they are always logging out.

How long have you been chopping wood for?

I'm not sure, I'll check the logs"

Why couldn't the lumberjack sign into Facebook?

Because he was logged out!

How does Santa Claus remember which chimneys he's been down?

He keeps a log

What does Imperator Furiosa like to click when she logs into a website?

REMEMBER ME!!!!!!!!!!

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What do you mean I can't change the past?

logs on to Wikipedia*

What do children think of the world?

I don't know, this is the first time I've logged onto Reddit, today.

Why do beavers spend a fortune on the Internet?

They never want to log off.

How did the tree get on to Reddit?

It just logged on...

What is it called when a hacker poops?

Logging out

Why did the girl put her bed in the fireplace?

Because she wanted to sleep like a log.

Why is DeadMau5 bad at math?

He drops the base when doing logs.

How does a tree access the internet?

It logs on.

What did the sausage say when it couldn't log on to the Internet?

If at first you don't succeed Fry Fry again

How do the trees get on the internet?

They log on.

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Captain Log Jokes More Captain Log Jokes

What did Captain Picard call his poop?

Captain's log

Why did Scotty check all the toilets of the Starship Enterprise?

He was looking for the Captain's log.

Starship Enterprise Jokes More Starship Enterprise Jokes

Why did Scotty check all the toilets of the Starship Enterprise?

He was looking for the Captain's log.

What did they find in the toilet of the Starship Enterprise?

The Captain's Log.

Access Jokes More Access Jokes

How do trees access the internet?

They log on

What do a stoner lost in the desert and Bolivia have in common?

They're both really high and have no access to water.

Sound Jokes More Sound Jokes

What sound does an emo cow make?

Amumu

What sounds like a robot and bumps into tables?

Stephen Hawking.

Find Jokes More Find Jokes

What did the paper clip say to the magnet?

I find you very attractive.

What's the difference between a pirate and a necrophiliac?

I'm not sure, but they both go out with shovels to find the booty.

Smoke Jokes More Smoke Jokes

What type of weed are you allowed to smoke during Ramadan?

Tajweed

How long has your car been doing that?

Me: Hubs: The engine smoking at a stoplight Me: I dont know, I look at my phone at lights.

Ship Jokes More Ship Jokes

Why is a Camel called the ship of the ship of the desert?

It's full of Arab Seamen.

What was the last thing that Columbus said to his sailors before getting on the ship?

Okay men, get on the ship."

Look Jokes More Look Jokes

What did the right testlcle say to the left?

Look at this guy in the middle trying to act all hard

When the hostess at the restaurant says "table for two?

I always like to look surprised and whisper "you can see her too ".